John Patrick Amedori: Poot

Stick It

Poot

Haley Graham: Can you believe this? Did you see it?
Poot: Yeah, I saw it. Are you... totally covered in soda, or what?
Haley Graham: Oh, yeah, great. Thank you.
Frank: I'm so pissed at that kid. We were totally gonna throw drinks on you. I feel so upstaged.
Poot: I mean, what? They think they can just hate on you like that?
Frank: I know! Dude, who do they think they are?
Poot: They're fakers, that's who. I can't stand fake Haley-haters!
Frank: It's a bloody outrage, I tell ya!
Poot: [Yelling] We hate Haley more, people, so *get in line*!
Haley Graham: Would you shut up?
Haley Graham: Can't I be upset?
Haley Graham: Can I go compete now?
[Walks away]
Frank: Can I eat? I'm so hungry.
Poot: [Rubs his head] Let's get some nachos.

Joanne: When is your prom? I need time, dates, transportation. And you better be getting me a corsage.
Frank: Are you kidding me? She's a bitch.
Poot: Dude.
Joanne: What?
Frank: You heard me, Miss Bossy Booty. I don't like how you act.
Poot: Dude, I totally hate you right now!
[to Joanne]
Poot: See, what Frank is really trying to say is, um, it would be my honor.
Joanne: You think I'm a bitch?
Poot: [a beat] No. Yeah, kinda, I do. But, I don't have the problem with it that Frank does. I mean, he's gay!
Joanne: Call me.
Poot: Stalk you.

Poot: [to the girls] I'm Poot, and this is my hetero life mate, Frank. And we are here to be your hosts for this evening, because we are going out! *Ow*!
[Girls cheer]
Joanne: No, we aren't. We have work-outs to finish.
Mina Hoyt: Who died and made you Nadia?
Wei Wei Yong: Come on, Joanne, you know we wanna go.
Joanne: We can't just leave. Championships are three weeks away. Our routines need to be perfect.
Frank: Put some clothes on and get in the truck. We're going out!
[Poot howls]
Mina Hoyt: Come on!
Wei Wei Yong: Yeah!
[They run inside]
Frank: Come on. Can you speak?
[a beat]
Frank: Can you do anything besides gymnastics?
Joanne: [Joanne looks around at the other girls] Okay. Anything to get out of this 'tard. That's 'leotard' without the 'leo', in case you were wondering.

Poot: [Hops up on the counter wearing a dress] So, uh, why are you buying a dress?
Joanne: Because you're taking me to your prom.
Poot: Well, shouldn't you be buying a tux? Just kidding. We can both wear dresses.
[Looks at his underarms]
Poot: Don't worry, I'll totally shave.

Poot: What's a corsage?
Frank: The universal sign for wa-chh, whipped!
Poot: Dude, what's so wrong about being whipped? When is that a bad thing, ever?
Frank: [Scratches his head] Huh. Good point.

Poot: Why do girls wear so much glitter and clippage in their hair? I mean, that is some uptight friggin' hair, right?
Frank: And how do those leotards not ride up their butts?
Poot: Oh, yeah.
Haley Graham: Tuff-Skin.
Frank: Aw. They have ass calluses?
Haley Graham: No. It's just this sticky stuff you spray on your butt so the leotard doesn't ride up.
Poot: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can I get that job? I wanna be Tuff-Skin.
Frank: Hey. What would happen if you put some of that Tuff-Skin stuff, on tough skin?
Poot: Your head would stick to your butt.
Frank: Why would my head stick to my butt?
Poot: Cause your head's already up there! Ahh!
Haley Graham: Don't worry, Frank. My head's up my butt, too. Far.

Poot: [Uses both hands to throw up the devil horns] Too much rock for one hand, baby!

Burt Vickerman: Okay, boys, time to go.
Frank: We're cool, man. Thanks.
Haley Graham: Come on. I mean, even prisons have visiting hours.
Burt Vickerman: Yeah, and they're scaring the, the mini-vans out of the moms next door.
Frank: Please, those mommies were totally hitting on us.
Poot: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hitting on *us*? Mommies and *me*, dude. Mommies and *me*.
Burt Vickerman: It's the devil's candy, boys. Trust me. Say good-bye.

Mrs. Charis: [Sees Frank and Poot sneaking around in their masks] May I help you?
Poot: [Smiles as all the other moms come down the stairs] May we?