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Nick Swardson: Howie
The Benchwarmers
Nick Swardson credited as playing...
Howie
Photos
5
Add photo
Quotes
7
Howie
: For years I thought the sun was a monster. But I am here to tell you that it's not a monster! IT'S NOT A MONSTER!
[
cries
]
Howie
: Richie told me about the serial killers thats loose in in our neighborhood killing anyone named Howie! THAT'S MY NAME! That's my name!
Howie
: I used to think the sun was evil but now I know it's not.
Wayne
: How's the moon treating you.
Howie
: Not a fan.
Howie
: [
quivering
] Carlos?
Carlos
: Who say my name?
Howie
: [
gives him 2 packs of beer and a tequila
] I brought you a present from the Benchwarmers. You're really good at baseball.
Carlos
: [
happy
] Thank you Albino.
[
bold
]
Carlos
: Now get lost!
Howie
: [
cowers away screeching
]
Howie
: What's going all the way?
Wayne
: [
whispers in Howie's ear
]
Howie
: Oh.
[
squeezes suntan lotion and screams
]
Howie
: Aaaaaah!
Clark
: We could still win this thing.
Richie
: Wha-how?
Clark
: If we use the force.
Richie
: Let's try not to be too geeky, Clark.
Clark
: The Force is powerful, my young padawan.
Howie
: He's right. It is.
Howie
: Richie?
[
hands out a bottle of urine
]
Richie
: Okay, buddy.
Clark
: Is that apple juice?
Richie
: Nooo.
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