Robert Hoffman: Justin

She's the Man

Justin

Justin: Could you be a girl for just 5 seconds?
Viola: Ok... First of all it's not a stupid soccer issue and... you're a jerk. Oh look at that, times up.
[slaps him in the face]

Justin: [kisses Viola] Ok, you are really getting good.
Viola: Aw, you too. I mean when we first started going out, you couldn't kiss at all.
Justin: I meant at soccer.
Viola: Aw, really?
Justin: Absolutely. You're already better than half the guys on my team.
Viola: Hmm... probably more than half.
[kisses justin]
Justin: What do you mean I couldn't kiss at all?
Viola: Don't worry, I've taught you well.

Justin: [Justin blocks duke's shot] That's right. Didn't score on me last half won't score on this half. I'm a ninja. Ninja Goalie.

Coach Pistonek: Hi girls, heard the bad news.
Viola: Bad? It's a disaster!
Coach Pistonek: I know. Well if there's anything I can help you with, you just say the word.
Viola: As a matter of fact, there is. We want to try out for the boy's team.
[Other girls agree]
Coach Pistonek: [laughs] Uh, anything besides that.
Viola: Coach, come on! You know that we're good enough!
Coach Pistonek: I don't know that that's a thing that I know.
Viola: All we're asking for is one shot.
[Other girls agree]
Coach Pistonek: Girls, we have two weeks before school starts. Then we open against Illyria, a rivalry game. We have to win.
Viola: And we can help you win.
Justin: Hey, baby. What's going on coach?
Coach Pistonek: Umm, girls here want to try out for the team.

Justin: [after Illyria scores the winning goal, Justin sits in the goalie booth sobbing] It's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR! That was a lucky shot!
[to Viola]
Justin: I never wanna see you again! You *SUCK!*
[Justin wails as he goes off]

Justin: [Justin has just caught Viola kissing Duke in the kissing booth] Viola, what the hell is this?
9 Year Old Boy: [to Justin] Back of the line, butt-ball!
[the 9 year old boy puffs his chest out]
Justin: [to Duke] Excuse me, doofus!
[Justin moves the stool out of the way]
Justin: You're making out with my girlfriend!
Viola: *Ex*-girlfriend!
Duke: [realising Viola is Sebastian's sister] Whoa! You're... You're Sebastian's sister?
Justin: [shoving Duke] And *you're* about to die!
Duke: [Duke chuckles] What're you gonna do? Drown me in your tears?
Justin: I did not cry during that game! I had something in my eye!
Viola: [coming in between Duke and Justin and pushes them away from each other] OK, you know what? Can we just dial it down and just, step away, OK?
Duke: You know what she's right. I'm gonna see you on the soccer field and we'll settle this all then.
Justin: OK, Duke.
[walks away for a minute, pauses, and comes back]
Justin: Or, we could just settle this right here!
[Justin punches Duke and the two boys are involved in a fist fight]

Justin: [Justin catches Duke and Viola kissing in the kissing booth] Viola, what the hell is this?
9 Year Old Boy: [from the queue] Back of the line, buttball!
[puffs his chest out]
Justin: [to Duke] Excuse me, doofus!
[Justin shoves the stool out of the way]
Justin: You're making out with my girlfriend!
Viola: *Ex*-girlfriend!
Duke: [Duke realizes that Viola is Sebastian's sister] Whoa! You're... You're Sebastian's sister?
Justin: [to Duke, shoving him] And *you're* about to die!
Duke: [Duke chuckles to Justin] What're you gonna do? Drown me in your tears?
Justin: I did not cry during that game, I had something in my eye!
Viola: [pulling Justin away from Duke] OK, you know what? Can we just, just dial it down and just... step away, OK?
Duke: [agreeing with Viola] You know what? She's right. I'm gonna see you on the soccer field and we'll settle this all then.
Justin: [nodding in agreement] OK, Duke.
[Justin briefly walks away for a minute then pauses, then comes back to Duke]
Justin: Or, we could just settle it right here!
[Justin punches Duke and the two boys end up in a fist fight]