Timothy Omundson credited as playing...
Carlton Lassiter • Archie Baxter • Self
- Shawn Spencer: Good morning, detectives! Collecting donations for the Policeman's Ball?
- Carlton Lassiter: We don't have balls.
- Shawn Spencer: I honestly have no response for that.
- Carlton Lassiter: Need I remind you, Mr. Spencer, what happens when you interfere with a police investigation?
- Shawn Spencer: Uhhh... The case gets solved?
- Carlton Lassiter: So you think someone planted it in his locker?
- Shawn Spencer: No, I think someone put it there on purpose.
- Carlton Lassiter: That's what I just said.
- Shawn Spencer: But mine wasn't in the form of a question, so it came from a place of power.
- Carlton Lassiter: I need to get something off my chest.
- Shawn Spencer: Is it your shirt? Please say no.
- Shawn Spencer: Good morning detectives, collecting money for the Policeman's ball?
- Carlton Lassiter: We don't have balls.
- Shawn Spencer: I honestly have no response to that.
- Carlton Lassiter: Now I need to know your process.
- Shawn Spencer: Do you really want to know my process?
- Carlton Lassiter: Absolutely.
- Shawn Spencer: Well, it starts with a holla! and ends with a Creamsicle.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: And if there's time in between? ThunderCats. Ho-oh!
- Carlton Lassiter: Hey, we found prints.
- Shawn Spencer: Was he in a little red corvette?
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: Under the cherry moon?
- Carlton Lassiter: FINGER prints!
- Carlton Lassiter: You wanted to see me, Chief?
- Karen Vick: Yes. It has come to my attention, Detective, that you've discharged your weapons in the last four cases you've worked.
- Carlton Lassiter: Thank you.
- Karen Vick: That wasn't a compliment.
- Carlton Lassiter: I'm just trying to keep the streets safe.
- Karen Vick: The last incident was at a cat show.
- Carlton Lassiter: Well, let me just go on record as saying that I would never shoot a cat.
- Karen Vick: I guess I can find some solace in that.
- Carlton Lassiter: Unless it was approaching in a threatening manner, or refused to stop upon my command. I would probably just fire a warning shot to make my point, but it's actually a field decision I can't commit to at this juncture.
- Carlton Lassiter: Questions?
- Juliet O'Hara: Is this your only lead?
- Carlton Lassiter: His responses to my interrogation were hostile at best.
- Juliet O'Hara: Clarify "hostile."
- Carlton Lassiter: [through his teeth] Use my tone now as a guide.