John Astin credited as playing...
Gomez Addams
- Gomez Addams: But I'm already married to Morticia!
- Don Xavier: You are already married to your sister?
- Gomez Addams: Sister?
- Don Xavier: Si!
- Morticia Addams: Who?
- Don Xavier: He!
- Gomez Addams: Me?
- Morticia Addams: I am not his sister! We're husband and wife!
- Don Xavier: Husband and wife? You make insult!
- Morticia Addams: Who?
- Don Xavier: He!
- Gomez Addams: Me?
- Don Xavier: Si!
- Grandmama Addams: Gee!
- [Grandmama and Morticia overhear Gomez talking about having girls all over Spain but miss the early part about them being no more than office employees]
- Gomez Addams: And then there's my girl in Barcelona, and of course my girl in Toledo, and then I have two girls in Soria, and then there's good old Sadie in Lisbon.
- Grandmama Addams: Do you hear what I hear?
- Morticia Addams: Shhh. I'm counting.
- Don Xavier: But with so many girls, can you not get rid of a few?
- Gomez Addams: I'd be lost without them.
- Grandmama Addams: [looking to Morticia] The wife is always the last to know.
- Morticia Addams: Gomez, do you know what the penalty is for bigamy?
- Gomez Addams: Of course - two wives.
- Señor Cardona: She play, I stay. She no play, I no stay.
- Morticia Addams: She play. You stay.
- Gomez Addams: Okay?
- Señor Cardona: Olé!
- [Gomez and Morticia happily pay for Consuella's dowery]
- Don Xavier: Señor Addams, you are true Bluebeard.
- Morticia Addams: Blue-"blood."
- Don Xavier: Who?
- Morticia Addams: He.
- Gomez Addams: Me?
- Don Xavier: Oh, si!
- Gomez Addams: One million Pesetas is sixteen thousand, six hundred potatoes. Well, I'll better keep this in a safe place.
- Morticia Addams: No! I will not have bloodshed in this room.
- Gomez Addams: I guess we'll just have to shoot around her.
- Morticia Addams: [with whip in hand] Oh, darling, are you sure I'm ready for this?
- Gomez Addams: [sitting in profile, waiting] Querida, I've taught you all my mastery of the bullwhip. Surely flicking the ash off a cigar should be child's play.