Andy Griffith credited as playing...
Andy Taylor
- Hotel Clerk: [presenting room keys] Here you are, Mr. Taylor and Mr. Fife. Excuse me: "Doctor" Fife.
- Andy Taylor: "Doctor" Fife?
- Hotel Clerk: [reading registration card] "Bernard Fife, M.D."
- Andy Taylor: M.D.?
- Barney Fife: That's the way I always sign. Bernard Fife, M.D.
- Barney Fife: [pressured under Andy's gaze] "Mayberry Deputy".
- [Andy signals the maître d' to interpret the French menu]
- Barney Fife: Don't do that, Andy. You'll embarrass me. He'll think you're just a plain hick.
- Andy Taylor: Well, Barney, there's worse things than bein' a plain hick. Like bein' a hungry one!
- [Barney picks up Andy's suitcase]
- Andy Taylor: Uh, careful. There's a bottle in there.
- Barney Fife: You thought of everything, didn't ya?
- Aunt Bee Taylor: Oh, no! Wait a moment! We almost forgot!
- [exits to the kitchen]
- Barney Fife: What'd she forget?
- Andy Taylor: Well, I'll bet you a quarter she forgot a brown paper sack full of sandwiches. I never been on a trip in my life I didn't have to carry a brown paper sack full of sandwiches.
- [Aunt Bee re-enters the room]
- Andy Taylor: [as if he doesn't already know] What'd you forget, Aunt Bee?
- Aunt Bee Taylor: [matter-of-factly] Oh, just a brown paper sack full of sandwiches.
- Andy Taylor: Now, Barn, outside of that meetin' we got with the commissioner, we're - we're really off-duty, you know?
- Barney Fife: Off-duty? Huh. Now, when is a lawman *really* off-duty?
- Commissioner Hedges: Well, I'll submit these records to the budget department, Sheriff, but I must be perfectly honest with you. I think any chances of your getting new equipment up your way are pretty slim. Not much happens up your way. Not very many arrests.
- Andy Taylor: Uh, what you're sayin' is the only way we can get the equipment we need's to slow down our work a little and let the crime rate catch up to us. Is that it?