Andy Griffith credited as playing...
Andy Taylor
- Emma Brand: Sheriff, I come to report a murder.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: A murder?
- Emma Brand: That's right.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Somebody's been murdered?
- Emma Brand: Yes.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Who?
- Emma Brand: Me!
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: You?
- Emma Brand: Yes, and I'll tell you who done it! That lady druggist, that's who!
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Miss, uh, Miss Walker?
- Emma Brand: She's the one! Now, Sheriff, go arrest her! Do your duty!
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, Emma, they's... they's just the teensiest little technicality involved here. You ain't quite dead yet.
- Barney Fife: [looking for a legal precedent to make Ellie sell Emma her pills] Wilson sues Thorpe for refusin' to sell him arsenic to kill rats in his cellar. Pharmacist Thorpe claimed arsenic would be dangerous to Wilson's personal safety as Wilson was not a responsible person. Wilson, however, proved beyond any doubt that he was safe and responsible, won the case and purchased his arsenic on Tuesday, May 4.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: That's good. We got her.
- Barney Fife: He was buried on Friday, May 7.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, we just lost her again.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Oh, I'll say one thing for you, Emma. When you have a pain, it really goes places.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, tell me something, then. If you knew they was harmless, then how come you insisted on a prescription?
- Ellie Walker: Because I'm a pharmacist, and there are certain prescribed rules I'm sworn to follow.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, I know, and that's good. I mean, rules and things like that are fine things to have, I reckon. But sometimes, well, once in a while you have to think about the folks involved in it. Like Emma getting sick 'cause she didn't have them pills. What do they call it in the books? I believe, what-- The Human Equation, I think it is. You must believe that, too, or you wouldn't have brought them to her.
- Ellie Walker: Well, maybe.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: [smiling] Yeah, I bet you do.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Ma'am, not giving Emma them pills is what put her in her sick bed to start with.
- Ellie Walker: Don't be silly. Those pills couldn't cure a sniffle. They're nothing but sugar pills.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Sugar pills?
- Ellie Walker: That's right. A placebo. They have absolutely no medicinal qualities whatsoever. It's all in her mind. The pills are nothing. It's just that Emma THINKS they do some good. That's why Uncle Fred has been giving them to her without a prescription. And why he only charges a dime.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: I always did think that was kind of a low price for a miracle drug.