Frank Thornton credited as playing...
Captain Peacock
- [Everyone sings a song 'Christmas time is here"]
- Captain Stephen Peacock: Holly, mistletoe, big fir trees And once again a splendid reason To celebrate the festive season, Christmas time is here!
- Mr. Mash: I've knocked up a land enchanted, Christmas trees freshly planted. And the reason for my smile- The overtime made it worthwhile!
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: I, although a senior member, Get lightheaded in November.
- Mr. Lucas: That's why he's dressed up as an egg, And I've lost half my inside leg.
- Mrs. Slocombe: Speaking on behalf of blouses, It's rather drafty 'round the houses.
- Miss Shirley Brahms: That must be why I saw you shiver.
- Captain Stephen Peacock: You should have worn a bigger quiver!
- [all sing chorus]
- Captain Stephen Peacock, Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold: Even we so far above you At Christmas time just want to love you.
- Captain Stephen Peacock: I, after all, must be a sport.
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: I trust I shan't be taken short.
- Miss Shirley Brahms: Mr. Humphries looks so charming.
- Mrs. Slocombe: It's his smile that's so disarming.
- Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries: How kind! But if I were a prince I'd still like Christmas pud and mince.
- [all sing chorus]
- Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries: [Young Mr. Grace is brought in]
- Captain Stephen Peacock: Young Mr. Grace!
- Mrs. Slocombe: And there's the bell!
- Captain Stephen Peacock, Mr. Mash, Mr. Ernest Grainger, Mr. Lucas, Mrs. Slocombe, Miss Shirley Brahms, Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold, Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries: Sit down, sir; you've done very well! We're so happy with our grotto
- Mr. Mash: Here's a bottle. Let's get blotto!
- [to an uncooperative Mr. Mash]
- Captain Stephen Peacock: That militant attitude is not part of the Christmas spirit!
- Captain Stephen Peacock: We can't burst into song every time the lift opens.
- Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries: What a pity; I was looking forward to being a counter tenor.