Trevor Bannister credited as playing...
Mr. Lucas
- [trying to dissuade a customer from buying a raincoat]
- The Raincoat In The Window: No, it'll do fine. Go on and wrap it up.
- Mr. Dick Lucas: Despite the fact it's the wrong color?
- Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries: And it isn't waterproof?
- The Raincoat In The Window: Yes, just wrap it up. And I must say, I'm really most impressed with your honesty. One would think you didn't want to sell me an overcoat.
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: [walking up] And that's because you've got a fat face, piggy eyes, and a pimple on your nose!
- [the customer bursts into tears and walks off]
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: You young salesmen just don't know how not to sell clothes.
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: [Indistinct mumble through a mouthful of food that has become stuck in his false teeth] And how did you arrive at that hy-poff-e-thith?
- Mr. Dick Lucas: I beg your pardon?
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: I won't say that again. My teeth are caught up with this c-custard.
- Mr. Dick Lucas: [Mr. Rumbold catches him snooping in his office] I heard the phone ringing, so I came in to answer it in case it was urgent.
- Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold: Well, why haven't you answered it?
- Mr. Dick Lucas: Yes. Well, I suddenly thought to myself, "Perhaps it's a private call and Mr. Rumbold won't want me to answer it," I thought.
- Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold: Yes, well, answer it now and ask them if they're 21 with long blonde hair and a 40-inch bust.
- Mr. Dick Lucas: [answers the phone] Hello, are you 21 with long blonde hair and a 40-inch bust?
- Young Mr. Grace: No, I'm 80 with short white hair and... hardly any bust at all.
- Mr. Dick Lucas: What did we take last Monday, Mr. Grainger?
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: [stammering, upset] Oh, don't... don't ask me! My memory's like a... like a... like a... like a...
- Mr. Dick Lucas: [helping him out] Like a sieve.
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: Thank you, Mr. Lucas.