Phil Silvers credited as playing...
Shifty Shafer aka Honest John
- Shifty Shafer aka Honest John: I have long been closely associated with the New York police force. They always love to see me come to town.
- Jed Clampett: Is that a fact?
- Jethro Bodine: They is friends of yours, huh?
- Shifty Shafer aka Honest John: Chums, pals. In fact, when we enter the terminal, you may notice several of them converge upon me and begin to ask questions.
- Daisy Moses: What kind of questions?
- Shifty Shafer aka Honest John: Oh, questions concerning unsolved crimes.
- Shifty Shafer aka Honest John: Come on over. Granny is cookin' up some groundhog stew and gopher gravy.
- Jed Clampett: That sounds atrocious.
- Shifty Shafer aka Honest John: Oh it is. You'll love it!
- Jed Clampett: Elly, I wish you'd wear a dress. How do you expect to get a fella when you look like one yourself?
- Elly May Clampett: Ah gee whiz, Pa.
- Jed Clampett: Maybe she'll listen to you. Tell her she looks like a feller.
- Shifty Shafer aka Honest John: Mr. Clampett, I have bent the truth in my day, but that would be ridiculous.
- Jed Clampett: [Honest John agrees to sell Central Park to Jed for $5000 and Jed pulls a wad of cash out of his pocket] Well doggies, there's some bigguns in there. One, two, three, four, five and I still got me some walkin'-around money.
- Shifty Shafer aka Honest John: Well, whaddaya say we get up and walk around?