Sean Holland credited as playing...
Sean Holiday
- Cher Horowitz: [opening lines]
- [as Sean cavorts about, they're coming down the stairs from cinema]
- Cher Horowitz: Kip Kilmore. I am so smitten. I'm the past tense of smitten. I'm smut.
- Dionne "Dee" Davenport: He is so come-to-me gorgeous.
- Amber Mariens: I am so totally he's type.
- Cher Horowitz: [sighs] He is so handsome. And according to the articles, he is such a sweet and good-hearted guy.
- Murray: You guys are all buggin', right? This Kip Kilmore character is nothing but some lights and makeup, all right? I heard, in real life, he's five-two, and this
- [pointing out hairstyle of cardboard display figure]
- Murray: right here, it's a rug.
- Dionne "Dee" Davenport: How can you say that about Cher's future potential husband?
- Murray: Cos it's true.
- Dionne "Dee" Davenport: Jealous.
- Murray: I'm not jealous.
- Cher Horowitz: Mm-hmm. Kip wouldn't be fake. He's much too fine a person. Anyway, I happen to know for a fact that he's tall, has sky-blue eyes, and does all his own stunts.
- Sean Holiday: Oh yeah, and how do you know this?
- Cher Horowitz: Because Daddy represents him.
- Amber Mariens: [grabbing her arm] Oh my God, you've met Kip Kilmore? Tell me, tell me everything! Was he wearing a jacket?
- Cher Horowitz: I know what movie he's doing next.
- Amber Mariens: You have to tell us.
- Sean Holiday: Come on, spill it!
- Cher Horowitz: He's gonna star in the movie version of the Tarantula.
- Sean Holiday: The comic book? Oh God! If anyone can be the Tarantula, it would be Kip Kilmore! Unless, of course, they cast me!
- [goes through exaggerated action routine]
- Murray: Dee, you're gonna be my short-stop. Because your low to the ground, you got speed, and you got soft hands. Cher, you're gonna be third base, because you're a thinker, you anticipate, you're a leader.
- Sean Holiday: Plus, you guys will be closer on the field, so if you feel that female need to gossip, you could do it without disturbing the game.
- Dionne "Dee" Davenport: Murray, what are you talking about?
- Sean Holiday: Coed softball starts Sunday. We're gonna slaughter Toluca Lake! Give it to me!
- [high-fives Murray]
- Cher Horowitz: Boys, boys, this is really nice, but we don't have time for childish games.
- [Dee shakes her head]
- Cher Horowitz: There must be some other girls you can ask.
- Sean Holiday: We don't want to.
- Murray: Well, we want to,
- [Dee takes an annoyed swipe at him]
- Murray: but, heck...
- Sean Holiday: You're the only ones who can actually play.
- Cher Horowitz: That's really sweet...
- Dionne "Dee" Davenport: ...but we're too busy right now.
- Sean Holiday: [disappointed] I see.
- Murray: [rises] Okay.
- Sean Holiday: [follows] I see.
- Murray: Fine.
- [leaves]
- Sean Holiday: Take that!
- [plays prank on Murray and passerby]
- Cher Horowitz: High school boys just seem so immature next to someone like Kip.
- Dionne "Dee" Davenport: I know.
- Cher Horowitz: I wonder when we can see him.
- [consults appointment book]
- Cher Horowitz: Dee, look, Kip is shooting Tarantula at the studio lot at five o'clock! We can see him in between takes!
- Amber Mariens: [regarding the rime of The Ancient Mariner] Mr. Hall, I think it's like this Alaia I bought last year, and I have never worn, and it just hangs in my closet, because every time I go to put it on, the color is like... mud. I... I know exactly how the poor mariner must have felt.
- [sits down]
- Mr. Hall: [the class doesn't get it] Let's just go back to the poem. Oh, and now, let's not forget our special little rule.
- [Sean has a portable TV]
- Mr. Hall: No General Hospital while we're in session.
- Sean Holiday: But... but Mr. Hall, we need to know if Jax is gonna stay with Brenda after his secret marriage to Miranda has been revealed. You see, it's just now getting juicy.
- Amber Mariens: Yeah.
- Mr. Hall: [undeterred, reading from the book] It is an ancient mariner, and he stoppeth one of three...
- Cher Horowitz: [voiceover] While Mr. Hall was droning on and on about a guy with a dead sea-gull around his neck, I couldn't take my mind off poor Kip.
- Kip Killmore: [Cher's daydream, awards ceremony] And I never would have gotten here if Cher Horowitz hadn't warned me about Summer. And showed me what true, selfless love really meant. Mrs. Kilmore...
- [extending his trophy towards her]
- Kip Killmore: This one's for you.
- Cher Horowitz: [thinks:] Oh, he's so flawless. I wonder where he is right now?
- [consults the appointment book, pulls in her breath]
- Cher Horowitz: He's with Daddy! I wonder what they're meeting about? It must be something really selfless and heroic.
- Murray: Woman, I've got some signals for you to memorize.
- Sean Holiday: Yeah.
- Dionne "Dee" Davenport: Murray, we told you, we have adult, mature things to do.
- Sean Holiday: [taunting] Oh, that's right. I can't believe that hussy is making Kip cast her as the Black Widow. She cannot act. That is so calculating.
- Murray: Dude...
- Dionne "Dee" Davenport: [to Murray] I told you it is highly classified.
- Murray: Oh, come on, he's my best bud. He's got top security clearance.
- Cher Horowitz: Guys, if you'll excuse us...
- [gets up]
- Cher Horowitz: Dee and I have an emergency plan to put into action.
- Amber Mariens: [arriving] Ooh, where did you get that yummy Italian leather date-book?
- [grabs it]
- Cher Horowitz: Amber, give me that!
- Amber Mariens: Why, what's the big deal? Yours is probably empty.
- [smirks, peeks, inhales breath sharply]
- Amber Mariens: Kip Kilmore?
- Cher Horowitz: Amber, that's private.
- Amber Mariens: [gasps] He is going to be at Beluga tonight. Nobody is to be there.
- Cher Horowitz: [snatches back the date-book] He needs his privacy.
- [last lines]
- Kip Killmore: [in restaurant] Well, you... you had a good motive. Listen, since... since you're here, and I have no one to eat dinner with, uhm, would you like to join me?
- Cher Horowitz: [little jump of excitement] Oh, really? Oh, sure! Uhm...
- [grabbing hold of herself]
- Cher Horowitz: Okay. Yeah, sure.
- [as they sit down for meal, voiceover:]
- Cher Horowitz: I tried to act totally norm like having dinner with a legend was no big deal, but I was freaking.
- Kip Killmore: So...
- Cher Horowitz: So, do you do any of your own stunts?
- Kip Killmore: Oh, yeah. Tons. Like, every time you see me walking, like, really fast in a movie,
- [gestures, making whistling sound, laughs]
- Kip Killmore: well, that's me.
- Cher Horowitz: [her enthusiasm already dampened] Oh, cool... So, didn't you get to travel to a bunch of really exotic places, I mean, Paris and Tahiti and the Arab Emirates?
- [dreamily, expecting romance:]
- Cher Horowitz: Oh, what was Paris like? Was it romantic?
- Kip Killmore: [studying his own arms, total egotist] Do these cuts look defined to you?
- Cher Horowitz: Uhm, they're awesome.
- Kip Killmore: [bitterly] Or are they the cuts of a hack?
- Cher Horowitz: No! No! So, when you're not making movies, what do you do with your friends?
- Kip Killmore: Well, I've kinda been too busy to make too many friends. Actually, to be honest, I find it hard to meet anyone who's more interesting than me.
- [laughs]
- Cher Horowitz: [disillusioned, voiceover] I suddenly realized maybe Kip wasn't so perfect or deep or even vaguely interesting. How did I do so poorly on my love SATs? Hanging with him would be like hanging with that Ancient Mariner guy, only Kip would be the dead sea-gull. In the end, I would much rather be hanging with my own real friends.
- Sean Holiday: [scene shifts, Cher is playing softball with her buddies] Okay, Cher, you rock! Keep your eyes on the ball, make me proud, come on, make me proud!
- [everybody having big fun]