Dixie Carter credited as playing...
Julia Sugarbaker
- Julia Sugarbaker: [On the phone with Charlene] Hello, Charlene. I just wanted to thank you again for turning me into the judge. Now, the whole jury is sequestered till Lord only knows when, and I am here in Motel Hell, sharing a room with a women with no lips.
- Charlene Frazier Stillfield: Julia, I had to do it. We violated that law. By the way, I don't think you're supposed to be making telephone calls. I'd hate to have to report this, too.
- Julia Sugarbaker: If you are so all fire, heaped up about turning people in, I believe you'll find some overdue library books in my upstairs den. Why don't you just report that too, and maybe you'll get your merit badge, you big 'ole donkey girl scout!
- Charlene Frazier Stillfield: Now Julia, you sound overwrought.
- Julia Sugarbaker: Yeah, well you're going to think overwrought. If I miss my dinner with Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter because of this you're gonna pay and I mean pay big! I'm gonna find you and hunt you down like a dog! I'm talkin' about you runnin' around in the woods in the snow with bloodhounds rippin' your clothes off! And remember Charlene, I have your address. You'll be wise to ask yourself do I know where my baby is!
- Charlene Frazier Stillfield: [Julia has hung up] Julia! Julia?
- [Hanging up the phone]
- Charlene Frazier Stillfield: Oh my gosh, she threatened Olivia.
- Mary Jo Shively: What did she say?
- Charlene Frazier Stillfield: She said she's gonna hunt me down and hire bloodhounds to rip my clothes off. Now I, I- I thought the judge was just gonna give her a warning, I didn't know she'd be shut up in a motel room. Now Suzanne, you know Julia, I mean when this is all over she'll realize I had to do it and, and- and forgive me, dontcha think?
- Suzanne Sugarbaker: I think you and your baby should get some black wigs on and get the hell outta town.
- Julia Sugarbaker: [Julia is counting juror ballots] One for, One for, and one against. Alright that's seven to four. Who didn't vote?
- [Janice, a mime, raises her hand]
- Julia Sugarbaker: Well, Janice, what is the problem? Did you intend to mime your vote?
- Janice: I'm just not comfortable making a decision yet.
- Julia Sugarbaker: I see. And yet you are perfectly comfortable smearing your face with white grease paint and annoying pedestrians all over Atlanta. Interesting. No really, Janice, I think it's time you came to a decision. As a matter of fact, I think it's time you all came to a decision. We've been here almost three days, and apparently you people have nothing better to do then to sit around here hogging up the tax payers' money, eating baskets of friend cheese, and staying at the Fair Price Motel. Which, I understand some of you think is the nicest place you've stayed in a while.
- [Tight Lips fumes]
- Julia Sugarbaker: Well, let me tell you something, it is not the nicest place I've been in a while. And for your further information, I'm having dinner with a former president and first lady of the United States tonight, because we are all going to be out of here. And the reason we're all going to be out of here, is that this case is very simple. Did any of you listen to the judge's instructions? He practically told us to acquit. The case is frivolous! The defendant was not negligent. Case closed! Q.E.D.! Over and out! Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more! Go up to the table and mark your ballets, and if you don't mark them right, I'm going rip that fire extinguisher off the wall and blow your over-fed, under-read, simple- minded butts out onto the Fair Price Motel parking lot!
- Tight Lips: I don't think jury members are supposed to threaten each other. I don't appreciate that.
- Julia Sugarbaker: Oh, really? Well, I don't appreciate you leaving you big 'ole box of June Allison bladder pads on my night stand for all the maids and bellboys to see! Of course, you don't care if you never get out of here; you don't even have to get up to go to the bathroom! Now, I am passing these slips for the final ballet, and I want to tell you right now, read my lips: Mark your slip wrong, and I will wrap it around a fried cheese ball and shove it down your throat!