Tom Baker: Doctor Who

Robot: Part One

Doctor Who

The Doctor: Never cared much for the word "impregnable". Sounds a bit too much like "unsinkable".
Harry: What's wrong with "unsinkable"?
The Doctor: Nothing. As the iceberg said to the Titanic.
Harry: What?
The Doctor: [sitting down] Gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop, gloop.

The Doctor: A new body is like a new house... takes a little bit of time to settle in. As for the physiognomy? Well... nothing's perfect. Have to take the rough with the smooth. Mind you... I think the nose is a definite improvement. As for the ears? Well I'm not too sure. Tell me quite frankly... what do you say to the ears?

[Catching the Doctor at the TARDIS, Harry tries to convince him to return to the sick bay]
Harry: No, Doctor, I'm the doctor and I say that you're not fit.
The Doctor: You may be *a* Doctor, but I'm *the* Doctor. The definite article, you might say.
Harry: Look here, Doctor, you're not fit...
The Doctor: Not fit! Not fit! Of course I'm fit. All systems go!
[the Doctor karate chops a convenient brick in twain, then jogs in place]
Harry: Well, look...
[the Doctor stops, grabs the end of Harry's stethescope and holds it to his heart. Harry listens. The Doctor moves it to his other heart]
The Doctor: Heartsbeat?
Harry: I say, I don't think that can be right.
The Doctor: Both a bit fast, are they?

The Doctor: [peeks out the TARDIS again] Excuse me.
Brigadier: What?
The Doctor: Haven't we met somewhere before? No, don't tell me. Alexander the Great? No. Hannibal? No. Ah! Brigadier. Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart. How are you?
Brigadier: [having his hand shaken vigorously] Very well, thank you.
The Doctor: And Sarah Jane! Well, now, isn't this... What was that you said about a secret weapon?

[the Doctor, desperate to prove his fitness to Harry Sullivan, grabs a cord and turns on him menacingly]
Harry: [nervous] I... I feel I ought to warn you, Doctor, that there's grave danger of myocardial infarction, not to speak of pulmonary embolism. Yes, I should, I should...
[the Doctor flips the rope behind Harry and he reflexively jumps to avoid it tripping him from behind. The Doctor does too, and suddenly they are both in a rhythm of skipping rope]
The Doctor: [to rhythm] Mother, mother / I feel sick / Send for the doctor / Quick, quick, quick / Mother, dear / Shall I die? / Yes, my darling / By and by / One, two / Three, four...

[first lines]
[after brief recap of the previous episode's regeneration scene]
Brigadier: [dials operator on telephone] Get me the medical officer.
[the Doctor mumbles something]
Brigadier: Lieutenant Sullivan, emergency. Come to the lab at once, please.
The Doctor: ...human history.
Brigadier: What's he talking about?
Sarah Jane Smith: It's something that happened when we first met.
The Doctor: [sits up rapidly] I tell you, Brigadier, there's nothing to worry about. The brontosaurus is large and placid.
[the Doctor collapses again. Harry Sullivan enters]
Harry: This is the patient, sir?
The Doctor: And stupid.
The Doctor: [sits up again, clutching Sarah] The square on the hypotenuse equals the sum of the square on the other two sides. Why is a mouse when it spins? Never did know the answer to that one.
Sergeant Benton: [entering] Excuse me, sir. The daily reports.
Harry: Take him to the sick bay, I'll make a proper examination there.
Sergeant Benton: What's happening, sir? Who's...
Brigadier: That, Mr. Benton, is the Doctor.
Sergeant Benton: You mean he's done it again? He's changed?
Brigadier: Apparently. Saw it happen this time. Lieutenant Sullivan?
Harry: Yes, sir?
Brigadier: I'm placing the Doctor in your personal charge. He is to have your full attention.
Harry: Right-o, sir.

[to Harry Sullivan, who'd been locked in a cabinet by the Doctor]
Brigadier: Well, where is he?
[vworp, vworp]
Brigadier: [recognizing the TARDIS dematerialization] Ah, too late.
Sarah Jane Smith: [to the TARDIS pounding the wood exterior] Ohh, no! No, Doctor, wait! Doctor, listen! Please, it's Sarah! Doctor...
[the TARDIS winds down, the Doctor peeks out]
The Doctor: Hello. Come to see me off, have you? Well, I hate goodbyes. I'll just slip away quietly.
Sarah Jane Smith: No, no, Doctor, you *can't* go!
The Doctor: "Can't"? "*Can't*"? There's no such word as "can't"!
[the Doctor slams the door]
Sarah Jane Smith: [to the Brigadier, heartbroken] Wha...
[the Doctor opens the door, taps Sarah's arm]
Sarah Jane Smith: Oh!
The Doctor: Why not?
Sarah Jane Smith: Well, because you're not... Well, because, um, the Brigadier needs you. Don't you, Brigadier?
Brigadier: [caught not paying attention] What? Oh, yes, of course, depending on you.
The Doctor: What for?
Sarah Jane Smith: There's been this robbery, hasn't there, Brigadier? Some kind of secret weapon.
Brigadier: Ah, yes. Very serious business.
Sarah Jane Smith: I mean, you are still UNIT's scientific adviser. Remember? Well, you can't go rushing off and leave them in the lurch.
The Doctor: Can't I? Goodbye.