Lisa Kudrow: Phoebe Buffay

The One with the Breast Milk

Phoebe Buffay

Monica Geller: [trying to make up with Rachel] I don't know what else to say.
Rachel Green: [annoyed] Oh, well that works out good 'cause I'm not listening.
Monica Geller: [insisting] I feel terrible! I really do!
Rachel Green: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?
[Rachel goes into the Central Perk shop and Monica follows]
Monica Geller: [trying to make up] Rachel... say that I'm friends with her. We spent some time together. Is that *so* terrible?
Rachel Green: [annoyed] Yes.
Monica Geller: It's *that* terrible?
Rachel Green: [very annoyed] Yes Monica! You don't get it! It's bad enough that she stole the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with! But now... she's actually...
[high pitched]
Rachel Green: But now she's actually stealing you!
[Rachel cries and Phoebe watches, touched]
Monica Geller: [touched and assuring] Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you! I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you.
[Monica starts crying]
Monica Geller: I mean... you're my...
[Rachel cries even more, causing Monica to do the same]
Monica Geller: [emotionally high pitched] Oh I love you!
Rachel Green: [emotionally high pitched] I love you too!
[they hug]
Phoebe Buffay: [comes over] You guys, um, I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um... I love you guys too!
[they all hug]

Phoebe Buffay: [goes to sit down after giving Monica and Rachel a hug] I *really* needed that.
Monica Geller: [comforting Rachel] Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but... she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she's just a girl who met a guy and now they go out... and I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her.
[Rachel emotionally exhales and inhales]
Monica Geller: [moves Rachel's hair away from her eyes] Will you just give that a chance... for me?
[pause]
Rachel Green: [emotionally high pitched] I'd do anything for you! You know that!
Monica Geller: [emotionally high pitched] I'd do anything for you!
[they hug]
Phoebe Buffay: [comes over] Wait! Wait! Wait! WAIT!
[they all hug]

[first lines]
Monica: [presents baby shoes] Okay, these were expensive, and he's gonna grow out of them in 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist!
Phoebe Buffay: Aww! Look at these. Hey, Ben. "Just do it"! Unh!
[baby starts crying]
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, my God! Oh! Was that too much pressure for him?
Susan Bunch: Oh, is he hungry already? Aw.
Carol Willick: [starts feeding with breast] I guess so.
Chandler Bing: You know, it's...
[goggling the breast]
Chandler Bing: Something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back.
Joey: [follows after Chandler out] Oh, uh, I gotta get one too.
Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Chandler Bing: We're just hanging out by the spoons... Ladle?
Ross: Will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.
Joey: Yeah, we know. But there's a baby sucking on it.
Ross: This is my son having lunch, okay? It'll happen a lot, so get used to it. If you have a problem, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it. Come on.
[guys come back]
Ross: Carol?
Chandler Bing: Carol. I was wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Carol Willick: Sure.
Joey: [surprised] Uh... Does it hurt?
Carol Willick: It did at first, but not anymore.
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler Bing: So, uh, how often can you do it?
Carol Willick: As much as he needs.
Joey: Oh, okay, I got one, I got one. Uh... If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?