Bob Saget credited as playing...
Danny Tanner
- Cousin Steve: Greetings from Baltimore.
- D.J. Tanner: Steve?
- Cousin Steve: D.J., how you doing, sport?
- D.J. Tanner: Hi, Steve. What happened to your glasses?
- Cousin Steve: Oh, I got contacts.
- D.J. Tanner: Your braces?
- Cousin Steve: Got 'em off.
- D.J. Tanner: Your face full of zits?
- Cousin Steve: They cleared up. Yeah, one night, I went to bed looking like a nerd and woke up looking like this. Isn't nature great?
- Kimmy Gibbler: The best.
- [slams the door in Danny's face]
- Danny Tanner: Kimmy, do you realize you just slammed the door in my face?
- Kimmy Gibbler: What door?
- Jesse: [as everyone is watching basketball on TV] Yes!
- Danny Tanner: Yes!
- Cousin Steve: Yes!
- Joey: Yes!
- D.J. Tanner: YES!
- [everyone looks at her]
- D.J. Tanner: What an awesome thing... that just happened.
- Stephanie Tanner: You don't have a clue either, do you?
- Cousin Steve: [after D.J. tackles Steve while playing touch football] D.J., what are you doing?
- D.J. Tanner: Playing football, man.
- Cousin Steve: This is touch football. What's your problem?
- D.J. Tanner: I got no problem. What's your problem?
- Cousin Steve: Yeah, that was a pass interference. Automatic first down.
- D.J. Tanner: No way, you wimp!
- Danny Tanner: D.J., Steve's right. You were way out of line. We're not playing tackle here.
- D.J. Tanner: Oh, sure. Take Steve's side. You guys are such buddies. Why don't you just adopt him? That's what you want, isn't it? Great, now I'm gonna start crying like a little girl.
- [runs off]
- Danny Tanner: D.J., you don't have any plans for tomorrow afternoon, do you?
- D.J. Tanner: Not anymore.
- Danny Tanner: You do now because we're all going to the park. How does some touch football sound?
- Cousin Steve: Oh, great, yeah! Then we can play some soccer, some basketball, volleyball and tennis!
- Danny Tanner: Then we'll play a rousing game of "Let's Rush Uncle Danny to the hospital."
- Danny Tanner: D.J., what's with the "why don't you adopt him" stuff?
- D.J. Tanner: Come on, Dad. It's pretty obvious. You're taking Steve to ball games, having fun, high fives all over the place.
- Danny Tanner: You know Steve's dad moved out last year. Steve needs me right now. It's real important for him to...
- D.J. Tanner: I know. Hang out with the guys.
- Danny Tanner: What's wrong with that?
- D.J. Tanner: Nothing, unless you're a girl. Dad, I want to spend time with him too. We used to be such good friends. I don't know what happened.
- Danny Tanner: I'll tell you what's happened. Steve's grown up a lot in the past two years. He's becoming a young man. D.J., I know you're having a hard time with this, but that's no excuse to clean his clock.
- D.J. Tanner: Fine, Dad. I'll take Michelle and Stephanie, and we'll go play "Duck, Duck, Goose."