Katey Sagal: Turanga Leela

A Clone of My Own

Turanga Leela

Robot Doorman #1: Halt! Identify this guest.
Leela: This is Hubert Farnsworth. He escaped.
Robot Doorman #1: Escaped? No one escapes!
Robot Doorman #2: This guest does not look 160-years old.
Fry: What? I'm old. Listen. Hey, you kids! Get off my lawn!
Robot Doorman #1: Hmm, it is true old people are often concerned that there are children in their lawn.
Robot Doorman #2: There is no denying that, but we'll still need to verify his identity with a DNA sample.
Bender: [presents the guard with a large jar of blood] Got a hot, steaming batch right here.
Robot Doorman #2: We only needed one cell.
Bender: Ah, keep the change, buddy.

[trying to wake up an unconscious professor Farnsworth]
Leela: Try shocking him.
Bender: Your social security check's bounced. Stuff cost more than it used to. Young people use curse words.
Fry: Damn it.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! The university is bringing me on disciplinary charges. Wait - that's not good news at all.
Leela: Whatever you did, professor, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Yes, but they won't listen! Everybody's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain. But when you put it in the body of a great white shark - uuuh, suddenly you've gone too far.

Cubert J. Farnsworth: And why does our captain have only one eye? There's someone I'd like you to meet. His name is depth perception.
Leela: Why you little...
[swings at Cubert and misses]
Cubert J. Farnsworth: Ooh, that hurt... the air!

Leela: Look, the professor trusts me to fly a giant spaceship. He wouldn't trust the rest of you to take care of his dentures.
Amy Wong: [wearing the professor's dentures] Yes, he would.

Leela: After fourteen years of graduate school, Professor Farnsworth settled into the glamorous life of a scientist. Fast cars, hot nightclubs, beautiful women... the professor designed them all, working out of his tiny, one-bedroom apartment.

Leela: Okay, we'll tell them the professor escaped and we're bringing him back. Fry, you'll have to dress up like a 160-year-old.
Fry: I'm on it.
[lifts up his pants and acts old and frail]
Cubert J. Farnsworth: My God, the illusion is so perfect. I almost forgot I was looking at an idiot!
Leela: Now they may ask for a DNA sample.
Fry: [hikes up his pants higher] I'd like to see them find it.

Leela: If the Smellescope can pick up the Professor's odour, we may have a chance to save him.
Cubert J. Farnsworth: [Scoffs and snorts] I think not. As you probably already DON'T know, odours are made up of particles that can't travel through the vacuum of space.
[Bender electrocutes him and he screams]
Leela: I'm zeroing in on him.
[Sniffs]
Leela: BENGAY... mothballs...
[Sniffs again]
Leela: ... letters to the editor! It's the Professor!