George Lopez credited as playing...
George Lopez
- George Lopez: [Angie's come home late, George thinks she's cheating on him] Angie! There's lipstick on your shirt!
- Angie Lopez: I know, it's mine, and if you smell me, I smell like perfume, and if you search me, you'll find a pair of woman's panties.
- Angie Lopez: I need comfort food.
- George Lopez: Too late, there's a house full of teenage girls, all that's left is jelly and taco shells.
- Vic Palermo: [on the phone with is wife] No, don't apologize to me. Apologize to God for walking out on 40 years of marriage!
- [throws the phone away, turns around and sees George]
- George Lopez: [looks at his beer can] WOW! This doesn't taste like one calorie!
- George Lopez: [to Carmen's friends] Turn the music down! And no more truth or dare until somebody returns my underwear!
- George Lopez: [after tricking Ernie into playing dominoes with Vic] That's alright, I'll play you tomorrow... oh but wait, that's right, you're leaving tomorrow!
- Ernie: We could play teams!
- Vic Palermo: That is a great idea!
- Ernie: Yeah, we could play all night!
- [to George]
- Ernie: Never underestimate a guy with no life.