Ted Rooney credited as playing...
Morey Dell
- Taylor Doose: Townspeople, we should all be proud of the new addition to our streets. I know many of you have wanted a traffic light and a crosswalk for many years...
- Luke Danes: What?
- Taylor Doose: And now, your dream has come true.
- Luke Danes: It's like Hitler's Germany!
- Taylor Doose: Luke!
- Luke Danes: You're trying to brainwash us, Taylor. Telling us we want something that we don't, and not giving us any choice.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Luke, shush! We're planning.
- Luke Danes: I heard, and you're idiots if you don't eat first.
- Taylor Doose: Everybody, let me segue into the informational portion of our gathering. If I can turn your attention to the pole here, you will see a yellow button with an instructional panel right above it.
- Miss Patty: Oh my God. That's the biggest yellow button I've ever seen.
- Taylor Doose: Now if you'll read the panel above the button, you'll learn how the system works.
- Miss Patty: [reading the sign] To cross street, push yellow button, wait for walk signal. When signal reads WALK, step into street and proceed to the other side.
- Luke Danes: It's written for morons.
- Babette Dell: In big stupid letters too!
- Morey Dell: I hate being infantilized.
- Taylor Doose: Does no one here care about this fate of near accidents we have suffered over the past year?
- Luke Danes: NEAR accidents. Meaning they didn't happen.
- Taylor Doose: Just because they didn't happen doesn't mean that we shouldn't ward against them.
- Luke Danes: There's lots of things that don't happen that we don't ward against.
- Taylor Doose: Like?
- Luke Danes: Like... everything.
- Taylor Doose: So that everything doesn't happen here, meaning nothing happens?
- Luke Danes: No, it's - It's not nothing happens. Stuff happens. It's that it... it's not everything that's... it's... Damn it, Taylor!
- Taylor Doose: Ha!