John Banner credited as playing...
Sgt. Schultz
- Col. Klink: You have made a fool of me in front of my own command. Are you satisfied.
- Col. Hogan: Yes, I'm satisfied. Carter, are you satisfied?
- Carter: Yes, I'm satisfied. Schultz, are you satisfied?
- Sgt. Schultz: Yes, I'm satisfied.
- [Looking towards Klink]
- Sgt. Schultz: Are you satisfied?
- Col. Klink: Yes, I'm... .
- [lets out a frustrated grunt]
- Sgt. Schultz: [Talking to Carter] Let me cheer you up. Women are like War there is always another coming around.
- Sgt. Schultz: They might send me to the eastern front.
- Carter: Gee, I wouldn't want that to happen.
- Sgt. Schultz: And that's not the worst of it. They might give me ten days leave.
- Carter: What's wrong with that, for Pete's sake?
- Sgt. Schultz: I would have to spend it with my wife. Please don't escape.
- Carter: I'll tell you what. When I do escape, I'll do it some time when you're not on duty. That way they can't blame you.
- Sgt. Schultz: You're a good boy.