William O'Leary credited as playing...
Marty Taylor
- Marty Taylor: I happen to want my kids to like me.
- Tim: You're their father, not their friend. You can't let them manipulate you like this.
- [dog toy squeaks]
- Marty Taylor: Well, excuse me, but I happen to think
- [dog toy squeaks]
- Marty Taylor: that you're the one who's being manipulated.
- Tim: What's that supposed to mean?
- Marty Taylor: Oh, come on. Your wife sent you down here to bite my head off
- [dog toy squeaking]
- Marty Taylor: about something that you don't even believe.
- Tim: If you think for one minute I came down here 'cause of Jill, you're dead wrong. I'm my own man. I do my own bidding.
- Marty Taylor: Yeah? Well, I'm my own man
- [dog toy squeaks]
- Marty Taylor: and I don't happen to agree with what your wife sent you down here to tell me.
- Tim: If you weren't such a thickhead, you'd realize she made a good point.
- [dog toy squeaks]
- Tim: You know what else? This is a really annoying job.
- Marty Taylor: Jill, the girls' birthday cake is great. What's your secret?
- Jill: Gretchen's Bakery. It's that place with the flashing neon lederhosen.
- Tim: You know, I always thought Gretchen was selling something else there.
- Brad Taylor: Hey, Uncle Marty, my dad says you have a job in canine nutrition.
- Marty Taylor: I stack kibble at a dog-food warehouse.
- Claire Taylor: Daddy! Daddy!
- [runs over to Marty]
- Marty Taylor: Claire, honey. What's wrong? Come here.
- Claire Taylor: Aunt Jill's being mean to me.
- Marty Taylor: Oh, sweetie, it's okay. What's going on?
- Tim: She wanted to ride her bike around the house and, uh... and Jill didn't think it was a good idea.
- Jill: [about Claire] Marty, you're setting up a behavioral pattern where you give in to her every time she acts out.
- Marty Taylor: Oh, spare me the psychobabble. I know how to handle my kids.
- Jill: If you knew how to handle your kids, they'd know how to behave in our home.
- Tim: You know, ice cream is starting to sound real good right now.
- Jill: Look, Claire and Gracie need the security of knowing that there is a grown-up in control.
- Marty Taylor: That's okay. Just don't tell me how to raise my kids.
- Tim: How about Rocky Road?
- Tim: Look, I know your kids are having a tough time with the separation, but you're letting them get away with murder, Marty.
- Marty Taylor: Hey, you're the one that told them they could ride their bikes around the house.
- Tim: That's because Claire pouted, I gave in, but you give in every time she snaps her fingers.