- Lily Aldrin: [Trying on wedding dresses] Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.
- Barney Stinson: Hey, don't knock long distance relationships. I really think they can work.
- Ted Mosby: Really? You?
- Barney Stinson: Absolutely. I'm juggling four right now. There's Lisa in Madrid, Erika in Tokeyo. There's Lora in Denmark and Kelly on 34th Street.
- [Irish Accent]
- Barney Stinson: The lass thinks I'm a humble sheep shearer from Kelharny
- Victoria: I'm going to meet Ted for our 2 month-iversary.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Oh great, that answers all of the questions I didn't ask.
- Lily Aldrin: [upon the perfect wedding dress she just found] Okay, okay, how much is it on a scale from "never" to "never ever"?
- Robin Scherbatsky: Never ever, ever ever ever times infinity.
- Marshall Eriksen: Hey baby, how's the dress place?
- Lily Aldrin: Everything's so fluffy and white, it's like shopping in a marshmallow! How's Barney's tailor?
- Marshall Eriksen: Everything here is dark, sketchy, and seems illegal; It's like shopping in Barney's mind.