Glenn Howerton credited as playing...
Dennis Reynolds
- Mac: Are you sure?
- Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, look at his jeans, dude. That's a- that's an unmistakable bulge of a large penis in those jeans.
- Dee Reynolds: Yeah, that's a dick in those pants.
- Mac: There's a dick in those pants!
- Dennis Reynolds: Yeah.
- Mac: I'll be right back.
- [confronts Carmen]
- Mac: Excuse me, bro, can you give me a second?
- [club goer exits]
- Mac: Thanks. Is that a penis in your pants?
- Carmen: Yeah.
- Mac: You lied to me!
- Carmen: No, I didn't. You lied to me! You don't work out? Please, I see you at the gym. You're ripped.
- Mac: Wait, don't turn this around... Wait, really? You think so?
- Carmen: Yeah.
- Mac: I was afraid I was getting a little too ripped, you know?
- Carmen: No, I like it.
- Mac: Wow. Hmm. Well, I gotta get back to work, um, but I don't know, maybe I'll give you a call sometime.
- Carmen: Okay.
- Mac: Yeah, yeah, I'll give you a call.
- Dee Reynolds: Dennis, maybe you need to rethink this whole plan of yours. I don't think getting Charlie laid is going to help his cancer problem.
- Dennis Reynolds: Whatever.
- Mac: Dennis, I think I found the perfect girl for Charlie! Smart, beautiful, the whole thing.
- Dennis Reynolds: Where?
- Mac: Right there.
- Dennis Reynolds: Over there by the pool table?
- Mac: Yeah. Nice.
- Dennis Reynolds: That's great, Mac.
- Dee Reynolds: Good work, Mac.
- Dennis Reynolds: That's a dude.
- Dennis Reynolds: I don't get it, Dee, there are tons of women in this city. Where do they go?
- Dee Reynolds: They're at velvet rope clubs on Delaware Avenue.
- Dennis Reynolds: Why?
- Dee Reynolds: Dennis, our bar is south Philly in a scary alley... might as well call it "Rape Bar."
- Artemis: You want me to shake it? Want me to shake it for ya?
- Dennis Reynolds: Uh...
- Artemis: I'll shake it, I'll shake it.