Mike Judge credited as playing...
Hank Hill • Boomhauer
- Dale Gribble: [after Hank's been shot] Oh God Hank you're dying, I'll never forget you, I will bury you in my backyard, I'll dedicate my life to propane, and don't you worry about Peggy - I'll keep Bill away from her.
- Hank Hill: [recovers] I'm fine, Dale, but if you're serious about the propane, I've got some pamphlets...
- Dale Gribble: You're fine!
- [unbuttons Hank's shirt]
- Dale Gribble: You were wearing a bulletproof vest, you thought I was gonna shoot you.
- Hank Hill: Well, that or spray me with poisonous chemicals. I thought you'd kill yourself right after.
- Dale Gribble: I would have, too.
- Boomhauer: Hey, yo, Dale, what you doin' up there, man... talkin' 'bout goin' crazy, man... come on down, man...
- Dale Gribble: Boomhauer, if I ever heard anyone reading a script, that was it.
- Dale Gribble: [to Hank] You know, you used to be on my list of trustables, and it was a very short list, I wasn't even on it, but now, I just don't know. I guess you're not my friend.
- Hank Hill: Dale, if I could do it again, I'd... hey, what the heck is that? I am too your friend, I'm as good a friend as a weirdo like you is ever going to have.
- Dale Gribble: One shot on the way down eliminates the Gribble problem, then the Cuban robot soldiers have only Steve Wynn standing between them and Wichita.
- Hank Hill: Dale, there are no robots and there are no Cubans!
- Dale Gribble: If there are no Cubans, how do you account for Desi Arnaz?
- Hank Hill: [to Dale] You're not touching my mower ever again, you left it out in the street where any weirdo could just brush up against it!
- Dale Gribble: Hank, what would weirdos be doing near the gas station?
- [suspicious]
- Dale Gribble: What would weirdos be doing near the gas station...?
- Dale Gribble: That is a water-tight seal. I can mow my lawn in a hurricane. Can you mow your lawn in a hurricane, Bill?
- Bill Dauterive: I don't know
- Dale Gribble: You can't mow your lawn in a hurricane!, Can you, Boomhauer?
- Boomhauer: I tell you what, man, if I got that pause-trackin' goin' on, a little choke-hold, I...
- Dale Gribble: [interrupts him] Bullcorn!
- [as the garage door closes]
- Dale Gribble: Oh, almost forgot: Hank can you mow your lawn in a hurricane nope didn't think so ha ha ha ha!
- Hank: Dale, there are no robots and there are no Cubans.
- Dale Gribble: If there are no Cubans, how do you account for Desi Arnaz?
- Hank: [about Dale] We're putting extra stress on a structure that wasn't up to code in the first place.
- Bill Dauterive: Easy for you to say, it wasn't your naked butt in that picture.
- Hank: You took the money.
- Hank: Dale, get down here before someone gets hurt.
- Dale Gribble: Too late. I killed Shackleford!
- [the police gasp]
- Dale Gribble: No, no, correction - Shackleford wants a pizza.
- Bill Dauterive: Don't even ask if you can borrow my mower.
- Dale Gribble: Like I would borrow that piece of junk. Boomhauer, can I borrow your mower?
- Boomhauer: I tell ya what, man, I gone and loaned you my Monopoly set, man, you come back and no more dang ol' top hat gone, and B - Bard - Boardwalk got little mustard stains on it, Park Place too, man. Dang ol' mom comin' over and wanna, and end up playin' Stratego, man.
- Dale Gribble: Bill, can I borrow your mower?
- Bill Dauterive: Okay.
- Dale Gribble: Like I would borrow that piece of junk.