Mike Connors credited as playing...
Joe Mannix
- Joe Mannix: They're lying, Art, from beginning to end.
- Lt. Art Malcolm: Don't you think I know that? How are you gonna prove it?
- Joe Mannix: Seldon's got the answers. Maybe not all of them, but enough to get you started.
- Lt. Art Malcolm: What do you want me to do? Drag him in, shine bright lights in his eyes, holler in his ear? Cars do get stolen. Coffee does get spilled.
- Joe Mannix: Now you get on that bookkeeper of his. A little pressure and he'll fold like a cafeteria napkin.
- Lt. Art Malcolm: C'mon, Joe, these days nobody folds without permission from his lawyer. Without something solid to go on, we're stymied.
- Joe Mannix: The problem now is how to keep them alive.
- Lt. Art Malcolm: Tell 'em to leave town till the case is concluded.
- Joe Mannix: You couldn't get Portia Penhaven to run away if you used a flamethrower. Now look, Art, if something isn't done and now, those two little old ladies aren't gonna get any older!
- Skip Seldon: [walks up to Joe who's looking around his lot] Skip Seldon's the name, friend. I'm here for one reason, and one reason only - to make you a happy and contented man. Now, what kind of car are you interested in?
- Joe Mannix: Well, I'm looking for a 1972 Plymouth sedan, license number, uh, 949EJC. It's got a dent in the trunk about the size of a baseball.
- Skip Seldon: [chuckles] What are you, a cop?
- Joe Mannix: Private. The name is Mannix.
- Skip Seldon: Yeah? Now what is it about a Plymouth sedan?
- Joe Mannix: Well, it was involved in a minor traffic accident about 10:30 this morning. It's registered to your outfit.
- Skip Seldon: So?
- Joe Mannix: I'd like to take a look at it if it's back on the lot.
- Skip Seldon: Sure, why not? You know, we carry full insurance.
- [leads Joe to the car, and Joe examines the exterior and interior of it]
- Joe Mannix: Nice, clean car.
- Skip Seldon: Oh, yeah, that's one of the services that our customers appreciate.
- Joe Mannix: Who had it out this morning?
- Skip Seldon: Mr. Mannix, this is a busy lot. I'd have to look that up.
- Joe Mannix: If it's not too much trouble.
- [they walk to Seldon's office]
- Skip Seldon: All right, let's have a look.
- [looks through the papers]
- Skip Seldon: Yeah, here we are - 949EJC. Wait a minute, there's gotta be a mistake, Mannix. This, uh, baby hasn't been off the lot in almost a week. Here, look for yourself.
- [hands Joe the records]
- Skip Seldon: Last customer brought that back six days ago.
- Joe Mannix: Maybe you'd like to tell me how it could have banged into my client's car four hours ago?
- Skip Seldon: Sip of beer?
- Joe Mannix: Don't try telling me I got the license number wrong.
- Skip Seldon: You know, I bet it was a freebie. You know what I mean? A guy walks on the lot. He sees the keys in the car, and he borrows it for a couple of hours. Then he brings it back and leaves it by the curb. You know, you'd be amazed at how many times that happens on a lot this size.
- Joe Mannix: Except this one is sitting in the middle of the lot.
- Skip Seldon: Well, that doesn't make any difference. These cars get jockeyed around the lot all day long. Well, sorry I couldn't be more help.
- Joe Mannix: Oh, you did fine, Skip, just fine.