Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Banking on Marcy

Al Bundy

[Al is on the phone impersonating a rapper]
Al Bundy: Yo! Video Channel, do you take requests? I'd like 'Rump Shaker', 'Gangster Booty', and 'Put Some More Ass on that Lass'. My age? Um, I'm 15. I need parental permission? Just a minute please.
[whispers to Peggy]
Al Bundy: Tell them it's okay.
Peggy Bundy: [into the phone] It's okay. He's over 40.
[Al takes the phone away from Peggy and hangs up]
Al Bundy: Why did you tell them my real age?
Peggy Bundy: They already know your real age. They wanted to know your I.Q.

Dr. Angela: [voice over the radio] We're back with 'Dr. Angela's Loser Line' helping all those in need of help. Let's take our next caller. Go ahead, you're on the air.
Al Bundy: [voice] Dr. Angela? Hi. My name is... uh... Sal Undy. And I'm having a little... uble tray with my enis pay.

Marcy D'Arcy: But the good news is all indications suggest that the terrible economy is going to get bedroom - Butter - Better!
[Jefferson gets a bit ashamed]
Marcy D'Arcy: As you can see, when the Federal Reserve Board eases restrictions, interest rates fall, but when it... tightens... interest rates rise.
[gets excited]
Marcy D'Arcy: Oh, my God.
Peggy Bundy: [to Al] Al. Something's wrong. I never seen Marcy act like this.
Al Bundy: You wanna see acting, Peg? Check this out.
Marcy D'Arcy: For years, the Fed held back. And interest rates rose, and rose and rose -
[getting more excited]
Marcy D'Arcy: Eight percent, ten percent, seventeen percent, UP AND UP!

Marcy D'Arcy: We may even have to lay off some employees.
Al Bundy: You know, Marcy, as someone who's been to your bank, I certainly hope you keep those 75 vice-presidents and lay off those pesky two tellers. You know, the ones who work a cool half-hour apiece on payday.

Peggy Bundy: Al, uh, Marcy's making another appearance today. So, what do you say we... we have a candlelight dinner and... take in a speech?
Al Bundy: It doesn't work anymore, Peg.
Peggy Bundy: What doesn't work?
Al Bundy: It.
Peggy Bundy: How can you tell?
Al Bundy: I've been reading Playboy, Big 'Uns, Little 'Uns, In-Between 'Uns. Nothing. Then I remembered... it hasn't worked since the afternoon I saw Marcy do that HORRIBLE thing at the bank meeting. Marcy killed it, Peg. You made it sick, but Marcy killed it.
Peggy Bundy: Well, I guess then we can just put it behind us and get on with the rest of our lives.
Al Bundy: Well, Peg, what... what will you do?
Peggy Bundy: Oh, I'll be okay. I'll just keep going and going and going...

Al Bundy: You know, Peg, that Kathy Bates has a mighty fine butt. Why does she waste her time making movies?