Ed O'Neill credited as playing...
Al Bundy
- Peggy Bundy: Look, Al, you have said no to every movie that I've chosen.
- Al Bundy: Because every movie you choose sucks.
- Peggy Bundy: Fried Green Tomatoes sucks?
- Men in Store: YES!
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, how about this? Four Weddings and a Funeral.
- Al Bundy: That's kinda like five of the same thing, isn't it?
- [grabs another video]
- Al Bundy: Hey, how about Wrestlemania bloopers?
- Peggy Bundy: You could have taped our honeymoon for that.
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, Al, look what I found. Like Water for Chocolate. It's a love story.
- Al Bundy: What a coincidence, Peg, I found a love story too: Mrs. Assfire.
- Peggy Bundy: Water.
- Al Bundy: Fire.
- Peggy Bundy: Water!
- Al Bundy: Fire!
- Peggy Bundy: [reads movie case] Dieselhead. "A man and a monster truck exchange brains"?
- Al Bundy: Like Emilio Estevez would make a bad movie.
- Peggy Bundy: [reminiscing about their first date at the drive in] You know, I still have the imprint of the Dodge logo on my back. I can't believe you still have that car.
- Al Bundy: Well, I can't believe I still have you.
- Al Bundy: [reading off names of dirty movies] Schindler's Lust, Booty and the Beast, and my favorite, Forrest Hump.
- Peggy Bundy: Hey, Al, guess what? They're having a sale at the video store. See? Right here.
- [Peggy shows Al the front page of the newspaper. The back of the paper has an ad for Virgin Hotline with a large picture of Bud on it]
- Al Bundy: So, what do I care? Then go to the video store.
- Peggy Bundy: Well, I want you to come with me.
- Al Bundy: Oh ho ho, no. That's why we have cable, Peg. You can see the best and never leave your house. Watch.
- [Al turns on the TV]
- TV Announcer: Tonight, Tom Selleck in Mr. Baseball. Then John Goodman is King Ralph. But first, Wings.
- Al Bundy: [turns off the TV] I'll drive.
- Peggy Bundy: Mm-hmm.
- Jefferson D'Arcy: Hey, you guys mind if I hang out? If I go home, Marcy will know I'm not at my Unemployed Anonymous meeting.
- Al Bundy: Eh, have a good time.
- Jefferson D'Arcy: Thanks.
- [after Al and Peggy leaves, Jefferson turns on the TV]
- TV Announcer: Welcome to The Naked Jell-O-Wrestling Championship!
- Al Bundy: [comes back] Hey, that's a...
- [Peggy drags Al back out of the house]
- Peggy Bundy: Now all we have to do is find one movie that we can both watch.
- Al Bundy: Hey, here's one. "Die, Scum Sucking Pig, Die".
- Al Bundy: [finds neighbor in the video store's adult section] Marcy!
- Marcy D'Arcy: [removes her sunglasses] Al. It's not what you think.
- Al Bundy: Well, that's good, 'cause I think I'm gonna heave.