David Faustino credited as playing...
Bud Bundy
- [watching Bud perform in a virtual reality sex experiment]
- Sandy: Oh, I recognize this. It's foreplay.
- Dr. Kessler: Either that or he has a spastic colon.
- Bud Bundy: Oh, baby, what you do.
- Dr. Kessler: Yeah, it's his colon.
- Sandy: Let's get a second opinion.
- [to a nearby janitor]
- Sandy: Hey, Bruno. What does this look like to you?
- Bruno: Looks like I'm gonna need a bigger mop.
- Bud Bundy: Uh, look, Dr. Kessler, I don't mean to doubt your little, uh... Your little pleasure pouch here, but, see, you're dealing with a guy who's had the real thing more times than there are stars in the sky.
- Dr. Kessler: There are more than four stars in the sky, Mr. Bundy.
- Bud Bundy: Look Amber, I DO respect your mind. I'd just respect it even more if it would bounce gently when you walk.
- Bud Bundy: Look, Kelly, I don't need Amber, okay? I have her. Dr. Kessler introduced me to cybersex and I can create Amber any time I want.
- Kelly Bundy: But she's not the real Amber.
- Bud Bundy: Oh, oh, she's better. She does what I want, whenever I want it. You see, Kel, this is the breakthrough that men have been waiting for since the beginning of time. You know what? It looks like you and your cross-legged, "let's talk," gift-expecting, ordering-the-most-expensive-thing-on-the-menu, "what about me?" bimbo sapiens are about to be made obsolete.
- Bud Bundy: Kelly, guess what? I've been chosen to do a research project on human behavior.
- Kelly Bundy: So, where do you fit in?
- Bud Bundy: Well, unlike you, in the front seat of a car. That's another story. The point is they're paying me three hundred bucks. Which should earn me first class passage on the old Amber Airline.
- Kelly Bundy: Yeah, like she's really knocking down the door to see you after your little movie theater popcorn trick.
- Amber: [at the door] Hi, Bud.
- [walks in]
- Amber: Hi, Kelly.
- Kelly Bundy: Hi, Amber, what's up?
- Amber: Your Mom needs her TV Guide. She says it's in the room of broken promises.
- Kelly Bundy: Oh, that would be in her bedroom. Okay.
- [goes off to fetch]