Noel Fielding credited as playing...
Vince Noir
- Vince Noir: Who are you?
- Rudy: I go by many names.
- [long pause]
- Vince Noir: Well, what are they then?
- Rudy: I'm getting round to that in my own good mystical time. Some call me Shatoon, bringer of corn. Others call me Mickey Nine, the dream weaver. Some call me Photoshop. Others call me Trenu, the boiler...
- [fades out, then back in]
- Rudy: Some call me Marjorie Keek. Others call me Captain Margaret.
- [fades out, then back in]
- Rudy: Others call me R-R-Rubbady Pubbady.
- Vince Noir: Look, I haven't really got time for this.
- Rudy: Oi!
- Vince Noir: Are you going to tell me your real name or not?
- Rudy: My name is Rudy. Rudy Van Der Sarzio, Jazz fusion guitarist.
- Vince Noir: Thanks, I don't know what to say.
- Rudy: No need to say anything, simply kiss my balls.
- Vince Noir: I'm not doing that!
- Rudy: You have passed the test.
- Vince Noir: What?
- Rudy: The ball test! Most men would have kissed my balls, for they are worth well over...
- Vince Noir: [Walks off] Bye!
- Rudy: You have passed the test.
- Vince Noir: What test?
- Rudy: The Pipe test. Most men would have taken the Pipe, for it is worth well over thirty-five euros. But you have an honest heart. You brought the pipe back to me!
- Vince Noir: What's that?
- Howard Moon: Owls.
- Vince Noir: That sound like wolves?
- Howard Moon: They're wonderful mimics.
- Vince Noir: Who are you?
- Rudi: I go by many names.
- Vince Noir: Well, what are they?
- Rudi: I'm getting around to that in my own good mystical time.
- [wolves howl]
- Vince Noir: What was that?
- Howard Moon: Owls.
- Vince Noir: What, pretending to be wolves?
- Howard Moon: They're very good mimics.
- Vince Noir: What?
- Howard Moon: Look, don't worry about wolves, ok? I know how to deal with them. If a wolf approaches, you simply punch it on the nose.
- Vince Noir: That's sharks, innit?
- Howard Moon: Works for any animal.