Tony Shalhoub: Adrian Monk

Mr. Monk and the Psychic

Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: You've gotta be a little skeptical, Sharona. Otherwise you end up believing in everything - UFOs, elves, income tax rebates.

[Stottlemeyer enters his office to find Monk and Sharona waiting]
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Oh, excuse me. I must have the wrong office. Yeah, see, I'm confused because my name is on the door.
Adrian Monk: Don't blame Sharona, Captain.
Capt. Stottlemeyer: I have no intention of blaming Sharona.
[sees his desk]
Capt. Stottlemeyer: What happened here?
Adrian Monk: I took the liberty of straightening up a bit.
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Where is all my crap?
Adrian Monk: In your drawers. And obviously I had to throw some stuff away.

Adrian Monk: [freaking out over a handshake] Did you see that? It was a two-hander!

Sharona Fleming: [at the Ashcombes' house] This... is a nice place. Obviously who ever lives here doesn't work for you.
Adrian Monk: The late Mrs. Ashcombe was richer than Canada.

Capt. Stottlemeyer: Look, I knew you were crazy. I didn't know you were suicidal. Did you accuse Harry Ashcombe of murder to his face?
Adrian Monk: Not in so many words.

Adrian Monk: [about Ashcombe's wife] You don't believe it was an accident?
Jennifer Zepetelli: All I know is, Harry Ashcombe is a very dangerous man. I hope you know what you're doing.
[cut to later, in Monk's apartment]
Sharona Fleming: Do you know what you're doing?
Adrian Monk: Relax, I have been handling refrigerators since I was fifteen.
Sharona Fleming: I mean about the case. The former Commissioner isn't just another suspect, Adrian. He is connected. He is the man, and you'd better be sure about this.
Adrian Monk: I'm as sure as I can be... without, any, you know, proof.
[Sharona face-palms]

Capt. Stottlemeyer: Look, I knew you were crazy. I didn't know you were suicidal. Did you accuse Harry Ashcombe of murder to his face?
Adrian Monk: Not in so many words.
Capt. Stottlemeyer: [laughing derisively] Well, there goes your career!
Adrian Monk: *What* career?
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Exactly! You wonder why you're not wearing a badge?

Adrian Monk: Here's what happened... Ashcombe did his wife, but he had a problem. There was a mudslide that night, the car was buried. He couldn't collect a dime until they found her! What could he do? He couldn't just say, "Maybe we should dig over there!" Somebody else had to find her!
Capt. Stottlemeyer: [referring to the psychic who found the body] So he paid Dolly Flint?
Adrian Monk: Too dangerous. She'd never keep her mouth shut. Ashcombe... "arranged" for her to find the body.
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Right, but how did he do that?
Adrian Monk: I think I know.
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Can you prove it?
Adrian Monk: Only if you help me.

Adrian Monk: [attempting to get Captain Stottlemeyer to investigate the former police commisioner for murdering his wife] Leland, I'm talking to the best cop I know, you got to get on board here!