Michael Weatherly credited as playing...
Anthony DiNozzo
- Tony DiNozzo: [checking on McGee after Kate kicks him in the groin during training] Oh, she had three older brothers growing up. I think there's some unresolved issues there
- Timothy McGee: *You think*?
- [Gibbs and DiNozzo are boxing in the training ring]
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Not bad, DiNozzo.
- DiNozzo: Thanks! You learn how to box in the Marines?
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No. Corps doesn't teach boxing.
- DiNozzo: [laughing] That's your loss.
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [after flooring Tony] They teach *fighting*.
- [Kate and Tony go undercover at a paternity clinic posing as a trashy couple]
- Caitlin "Kate" Todd: You writin' my name, right?
- Tony DiNozzo: What? I just wanna know if it's mine.
- [to nurse]
- Tony DiNozzo: She kinda sleeps around a lot, if you know what I mean.
- Caitlin "Kate" Todd: If I did, it's cuz he ain't any good in bed.
- Tony DiNozzo: Least I didn't sleep with my cousin.
- Caitlin "Kate" Todd: You slept with my sister!
- Tony DiNozzo: I thought it was you!
- Caitlin "Kate" Todd: She weighs 300 pounds!
- Tony DiNozzo: She was wearing your earrings.
- Nurse Wells: That's enough! If you two can't be civil, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
- Caitlin "Kate" Todd: Look, is there anywhere I can wait away from him? Please? I'm beggin' you.
- Nurse Wells: There's an empty exam room behind you two doors on the right.
- Caitlin "Kate" Todd: Thank you.
- [She flings her gum at Tony as she leaves]
- Tony DiNozzo: I'm sorry. She slept with my brother. And my best friend. At the same time.
- Caitlin "Kate" Todd: Wow, I thought you were the only one who could piss him off like that.
- DiNozzo: You never met his second wife.
- Gunnery Sergeant. John Deluca: [to Tony, after a run-in with Gibbs] Is there some secret to getting on his good side?
- DiNozzo: Oh, there's no secret.
- Caitlin "Kate" Todd: He doesn't have one.
- Agent Timothy McGee: [observing Kate stretch out] Wow, she's pretty flexible.
- DiNozzo: Just don't let her catch you looking at her, Probie
- Agent Timothy McGee: [Kate smiles at McGee] Think she saw me. She gave me that look.
- DiNozzo: What look?
- Agent Timothy McGee: Look she's always giving you.
- DiNozzo: [Tony looks at Kate] Yep, she saw you. Hope you wore a cup.
- Tony DiNozzo: Eeesh! Shot, throat slit, frozen, and burned? Jimmy Naps definitely didn't like this dude.