Reg Varney credited as playing...
Stan Butler
- Stan Butler: Can I have your beer Olive?
- Olive Rudge: No!
- Arthur Rudge: You're not going to drink it are you?
- Olive Rudge: I'm going to wash my hair with it! Beer shampoo's very good for your hair!
- Arthur Rudge: If you use that, your hair will fall out!
- Stan Butler: Is that how you lost yours?
- Inspector Cyril 'Blakey' Blake: [Stan has tried to get to grips with one of the clippies] Touching her like that is indecent!
- Stan Butler: It's not indecent! it would have been, only her ticket machine got in the way
- Jack Harper: [Blakey wants Stan to take a sobriety test] I am here to tell you that a doctor should be present!
- Inspector Cyril 'Blakey' Blake: Yes, well, I don't know where he is.
- Jack Harper: I do - it's quarter to 6. He'll be in the boozer getting sloshed!
- Stan Butler: [Whispering] Let's go over there...
- Jack Harper: [hissing out of the side of his mouth] Shut up!
- Stan Butler: [Finding the bucket is empty] The rotten lot - they've chucked it down the sink!
- Jack Harper: It's a wonder the drains haven't exploded!
- Stan Butler: You know, Jack, I didn't think one plate of spuds would get rid of all that booze
- Jack Harper: It doesn't - you need three at least!
- Arthur Rudge: What do you think you're doing? That's the eiderdown from my bed!
- Stan Butler: Well, it won't hurt! If you get cold feet in the night, you can stick em on Olive!
- Stan Butler: I can't manage it!
- Jack Harper: No, you need a bigger spoon
- [picks one up]
- Jack Harper: oh, that's no good!
- [drops the spoon and scoops up some mashed potato with a saucer]
- Jack Harper: here, use this saucer!
- Stan Butler: [Glaring at Jack] This is a mouth here, mate - not the Blackwall tunnel!
- Jack Harper: [Looking through the beer kit] Here, Stan - You've got enough for another eight gallons here.
- Stan Butler: I'm not making any more of that stuff - not after what it did to them! Did you see the way Olive looked at Arthur? Blimey, she'll kill him!
- Jack Harper: Well, I was just thinking - if it'll do that for her, think what it'll do for the clippies!
- Stan Butler: [pause] We'll have a rave-up party! Get the saucepan!
- [Jack does so]
- Stan Butler: You know who I've got my eye on? Randy Ruby from Wood Green!
- [Dialogue fades under end credits]