David Jason credited as playing...
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter
- Del Boy: Anyway, how come you're in charge?
- Dr. Robbie Meadows: It was an accident really. I just happened to be talking to some colleagues when the name "Derek Trotter" cropped up. So I asked if I could read your GP's report and have a look at your tests. I was amazed. I found myself reading about this non-smoking, tee total, celibate, vegetarian health freak. I thought "Can this be the same Derek Trotter that I know and begrudgingly admire? That uptight, wheeling, dealing Pina Colada lout? The Castella King? The curry connoisseur? The same man who's lived his life on nervous tension, fried bread and doubtful women?"
- Del Boy: And was it?
- Dr. Robbie Meadows: Yeah!
- Del Boy: There is nothing wrong with me. I just got normal pains.
- Uncle Albert: When you came in tonight you flopped straight down that chair in agony.
- Del Boy: You don't understand unc' that is PMA.
- Rodney: I thought only women got that!
- Del Boy: No Rodney that is PMP.
- Del Boy: PMA is Positive Mental Attitude.
- Del Boy: It's the new buzz word, what all us yuppies get.
- Uncle Albert: Elsie, Boycie & his wife can't have kids.
- Del Boy: You know they've been trying for years but nitto.
- Rodney: They've had tests, things frozen, everything.
- Mike Fisher: Doctors there have just about given up on him.
- Trigger: He's low on something.
- Boycie: Do you mind not discussing my private life with strangers?
- Del Boy: Sorry, is Dr Meadows about, a Scottish doctor?
- Dr. Shaheed: No, Dr Meadows left general practice two years ago. He's working at the local hospital. I've taken over from him.
- Del Boy: You're a woman!
- Dr. Shaheed: [She picks up and studies a hand mirror for a moment] Well, well, so I am! Nobody tells me anything these days.
- Del Boy: How many cigars a day did that doctor say I could have?
- Uncle Albert: She said three.
- Del Boy: [Reaching for a cigar] How many have I had?
- Uncle Albert: Four.