Fred Willard credited as playing...
- Scott: Where do I go to get a good price on flowers?
- Roseanne: Well, the dumpster behind Spiegelman's Funeral Home.
- Scott: I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
- Leon Carp: That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
- Scott: [to Roseanne] Let me see that check.
- [dials the phone]
- Scott: You really shouldn't have to... Hello, Mrs. Sloan? Hi, this is Scott, I'm the desk clerk at the Come-and-Go Motel. Last time you and your husband were here, you left some of your private garments here and... You haven't? Well, aren't you a 20-year-old busty blonde? Oops, my mistake.
- [hangs up]
- Roseanne: He stiffs me out of a tip and you wreck his whole marriage? This is great! I've got other checks, let's do more!
- Scott: So this is Roseanne. Prove it. Do that thing where you spew bile and scare young children.
- Roseanne: Oh, I only do that at the Christmas party.
- Scott: With the money we save on the wedding planner, we could afford that honeymoon trip to the Bahamas we've always wanted.
- Leon Carp: Scott, I was thinking we'd be going to Greece, myself.
- Scott: You can grease yourself in the Bahamas.
