Robby Benson: Edward Spellman

Pilot

Edward Spellman

Edward Spellman: Sabrina, open me up.
Sabrina Spellman: No.
Edward Spellman: We have to talk. Young lady, you open me up this instant!
Sabrina Spellman: No, I don't want to talk to a book. Oh, god, I'm talking to a book.

Sabrina Spellman: I can't be a witch. Witches don't exist.
Edward Spellman: Honey, I know this is hard, but you just have to accept it. You're not like other kids. You're special.
Sabrina Spellman: I don't want to be special. I want to be normal.
Edward Spellman: I understand, but that ship has sailed.
Sabrina Spellman: None of this makes sense. I mean, all these years I thought you were traveling with the foreign service.
Edward Spellman: I am. It's just a lot more foreign than you thought.
Sabrina Spellman: And mom? Has she really been digging for fossils in Peru?
Edward Spellman: Yes, she is.
Sabrina Spellman: Then I want to go live with her.
Edward Spellman: You can't. You see, there's a rule. If you set eyes on your mother in the next two years, she'll turn into a ball of wax.
Sabrina Spellman: What?
Edward Spellman: It's the way they discourage mortal/witch marriages.
Sabrina Spellman: So, is that the reason why you and mom got divorced?
Edward Spellman: No.
Sabrina Spellman: So, do you think maybe you can get back together?
Sabrina Spellman: No. That's another ship that's sailed. You're gonna be fine. Just take some time and think about all this. And if you ever need me... I'm in the index.

Zelda Spellman: Here is a present from your father.
Sabrina Spellman: An old book, a black pot... doesn't anyone shop at the Gap anymore? "The Discovery of Magic." Why'd he give me this?
[opening it to where it's bookmarked]
Sabrina Spellman: That's why. This old magician looks just like my dad.
Edward Spellman: Surprise. It is your dad. Happy birthday, Sabrina.
Sabrina Spellman: Wow, Hallmark has gone really high-tech. Can he say anything else?
Edward Spellman: I'm not a hologram, honey. I'm just in a different realm.
Sabrina Spellman: A different realm? I thought you were at the Toronto Midway Motor Lodge.
Edward Spellman: Zelda, Hilda, didn't you explain to her she's a witch?
Hilda Spellman: She doesn't believe us.
Sabrina Spellman: [closing the book] Not this again. Look, I know you went to a lot of trouble to set this joke up, so... ha, ha, ha. Now it's over.
Hilda Spellman: No, it's just beginning. You *are* a witch.
Zelda Spellman: With real magical powers. And now that you're 16, you can use them. And you wanted something from the Gap.