Caroline Rhea credited as playing...
Hilda Spellman
- Zelda Spellman: Happy birthday, Sabrina.
- Hilda Spellman: And many more to come.
- Zelda Spellman: Many, many more to come. I... I got you a little something.
- Hilda Spellman: Actually, that's from both of us. I just forgot to sign the card.
- Zelda Spellman: [passing over a birthday present] Hope you don't already have one.
- Sabrina Spellman: [opening it] A black pot. Actually, I don't. Thanks.
- Zelda Spellman: It's a cauldron.
- Sabrina Spellman: Wow. Even better. I can, um, put my pens in it.
- Zelda Spellman: That's not what it's for. Sabrina, we have something to tell you.
- Sabrina Spellman: Okay, I've talked to my dad, and I've thought about it. And I guess I believe I'm a witch.
- Hilda Spellman: Good. 'Cause you are.
- Zelda Spellman: They don't tar and feather anymore, do they? I hated that.
- Hilda Spellman: You know whose fault this is? That jerk Drell's.
- Zelda Spellman: Just a thought, but I bet you could convince him to change his mind.
- Hilda Spellman: Me? I don't think so. Besides, Sabrina's going to be fine. Yes, she'll be ostracized and reviled, but... she'll get over it. The wounds will heal. The scars will fade. You know I can't face Drell!
- Zelda Spellman: Toughen up.
- Hilda Spellman: [determined, going through the portal] It's payback time, Drell. I'm coming in!
- Drell: Hilda, what are you doing here? Whoa, get your hands off my mole!
- Sabrina Spellman: I love being a witch! I don't know what made the council change their minds, but I got to do the whole day over again! And now the teachers think I'm smart, the jocks think I'm cool, oh, and I'm going to the movies with Harvey and Jenny Saturday night. Whoo hoo! I'm normal! Gotta go tell the cat.
- Hilda Spellman: [amused] Teens.
- Zelda Spellman: What about them?
- Hilda Spellman: Just in general.
- Sabrina Spellman: I'm not very good at this. You told me the 23rd time is the charm.
- Zelda Spellman: You'll learn to control your magic. At the very least, you'll always be able to garnish a ham steak.
- Sabrina Spellman: One more try. Salem into apple.
- Salem Saberhagen: I think that's enough for one night.
- Hilda Spellman: The cat's right. Wrap it up. You've got school tomorrow.
- Sabrina Spellman: I'm a witch and I still have to go to school?
- Zelda Spellman: Mm-hmm.
- Sabrina Spellman: Unfair! Hey, maybe I'll turn Mr. Pool into...
- Hilda Spellman: No, now be careful pointing your finger at people. It could be dangerous.
- Sabrina Spellman: You're pointing at me!
- Hilda Spellman: I have the safety on.
- Zelda Spellman: You're gonna be late.
- Sabrina Spellman: So? I'm a witch. Can't I just turn back time?
- Hilda Spellman: Uh-uh. No. A witch can't change time. That's one of the rules.
- Sabrina Spellman: You're kidding.
- Hilda Spellman: Nope.
- Sabrina Spellman: [hurrying out] Gotta go.
- Hilda Spellman: You also can't get rid of cellulite.
- Zelda Spellman: There are two realms, the natural and the supernatural, and it turns out that the immutable laws of physics...
- Hilda Spellman: You're a witch.
- Sabrina Spellman: What do you mean I'm a witch?
- Hilda Spellman: You're a witch.
- Zelda Spellman: Now, you're not alone. I'm a witch. Hilda's a witch. Your father's a witch.
- Sabrina Spellman: And I suppose my mom's a witch, too?
- Hilda Spellman: I always thought so.
- Zelda Spellman: Actually, your mom's mortal. You see, that's why you're here; so that we can teach you to use your magic.
- Sabrina Spellman: You know, for a second there, you almost made me forget about my first day of school. Thanks. But... now I've got to go catch a bus to take me to my doom.
- Zelda Spellman: Just let me check. Her 16th birthday started five minutes ago.
- [entering Sabrina's bedroom]
- Zelda Spellman: Oh, look, Hilda. She's levitating. Right on schedule.
- Hilda Spellman: Let's wake her up and tell her she's a witch.
- Zelda Spellman: No. Let her sleep. She starts a new school tomorrow. Besides, the first levitation is so special.
- Hilda Spellman: Yeah, then it gets old real quick.
- Zelda Spellman: I can't believe our little niece is growing up. Wait 'til Sabrina finds out what new doors this will open for her.
- Hilda Spellman: Wait 'til she finds out you still get zits when you're 600 years old.
- Sabrina Spellman: [after her request to turn back time is denied] So, where are we moving? I hear Greenland's a groove.
- Hilda Spellman: Get your books. You're gonna be late.
- Sabrina Spellman: You don't understand. Aunt Hilda, I'm not going to school.
- Hilda Spellman: Oh, yes, you are. You can do this. You can't go through life being afraid of things. Toughen up.
- Sabrina Spellman: But everyone'll laugh at me.
- Hilda Spellman: Toughen up.
- Sabrina Spellman: So that's my choice? Toughen up or toughen up? Aunt Zelda, will you help me?
- Zelda Spellman: Oh, you know I hate to say it, but Aunt Hilda's right. I mean, who cares what the other kids say?
- Sabrina Spellman: Actually... Libby thought I was a freak even before this happened.
- Hilda Spellman, Zelda Spellman: See?
- Zelda Spellman: Here is a present from your father.
- Sabrina Spellman: An old book, a black pot... doesn't anyone shop at the Gap anymore? "The Discovery of Magic." Why'd he give me this?
- [opening it to where it's bookmarked]
- Sabrina Spellman: That's why. This old magician looks just like my dad.
- Edward Spellman: Surprise. It is your dad. Happy birthday, Sabrina.
- Sabrina Spellman: Wow, Hallmark has gone really high-tech. Can he say anything else?
- Edward Spellman: I'm not a hologram, honey. I'm just in a different realm.
- Sabrina Spellman: A different realm? I thought you were at the Toronto Midway Motor Lodge.
- Edward Spellman: Zelda, Hilda, didn't you explain to her she's a witch?
- Hilda Spellman: She doesn't believe us.
- Sabrina Spellman: [closing the book] Not this again. Look, I know you went to a lot of trouble to set this joke up, so... ha, ha, ha. Now it's over.
- Hilda Spellman: No, it's just beginning. You *are* a witch.
- Zelda Spellman: With real magical powers. And now that you're 16, you can use them. And you wanted something from the Gap.
- Sabrina Spellman: I hate being a witch! I just turned the most popular girl in school into a pineapple!
- Hilda Spellman: Why?
- Sabrina Spellman: Because it's the only thing you taught me how to do.
- Hilda Spellman: Chill. I can fix this.
- [taking the pineapple, she goes over to the island and picks up a cleaver]
- Hilda Spellman: Chunks or rings?
- Zelda Spellman: Hilda... there are other ways.
- Hilda Spellman: Wedges?