- Fred G. Sanford: There's somethin' on TV I really want to see tonight, Son. It's a very sad episode of "The Six Million Dollar Man."
- Lamont Sanford: Aw, Pop.
- Fred G. Sanford: But it is, Son. Y'see, the Six Million Dollar Man becomes outdated, so they donate his vital organs to a used car lot in El Segundo.
- Lamont Sanford: I'm gonna call the police!
- Fred G. Sanford: Yeah, tell 'em we were robbed by a gang of weirdos!
- Lamont Sanford: Why do you say they were weirdos?
- Fred G. Sanford: Who else would steal Esther's picture?
- Lamont Sanford: [after they come in the house and find it picked virtually clean, Fred freaks out] Calm down. Calm down, pop. Just sit down.
- Fred G. Sanford: On what?
- Fred G. Sanford: [after they loaded up the truck with the new furniture, then it was stolen] Son, remember earlier when I had a big one?
- Lamont Sanford: Yeah?
- Fred G. Sanford: [Clutches his chest] This is a *bigger one*!
- Fred G. Sanford: [He comes in after the furniture went missing] I got two questions for you, Rollo.
- Rollo Larson: What's that, Pops?
- Fred G. Sanford: Where is my furniture, and where would you like to be buried?