Donald Faison credited as playing...
Dr. Christopher Turk
- Carla: Girls! I want an explanation.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Fine. Turk, tell her our code.
- Turk: If you haven't had sex in six months, you're not accountable for who you sleep with.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: [to Turk] You're diabetic?
- Turk: Yes, I told you that.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: I thought you were joking.
- Turk: How is that funny?
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Well, it's a very serious disease and I don't like you.
- Carla: JD, how could you do this to Turk? You two are so close that I occassionally have nightmares of running away together.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Where do we go?
- Turk: One time we went to Aspen.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Oh, I hope it was summer. I'm not that big a skier.
- Harvey Corman: Hey, there's no pie here. Oh my god! You two are going to kill me!
- Carla: Nobody's going to kill you.
- Turk: Hi, I'm Dr. Nobody.
- Neena Broderick: Morning. I'll see you at the deposition. I'll try not to spank your lawyer as hard as I spanked him last night.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Bye! FYI, there was no spanking last night, okay?
- Carla: Really? Then this won't hurt then.
- [spanks J.D]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Nope.
- Turk: Hit him again, baby.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Why?
- Neena Broderick: So should we start this deposition or do you boys want to just hand us a big bag of money?
- Harvey Corman: Big bag of money.
- Turk: You aren't gonna freeze up around her again, are you, Ted?
- Ted Buckland: No chance. I'm drugged up. Plus, if I concentrate, I think I can control the excessive flop sweat I get the second she speaks.
- Turk: We should take a short recess.
- Neena Broderick: Believe me, you're better off.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: I agree.