Jason Alexander credited as playing...
George Costanza
- Jerry Seinfeld: All right, I admit it. I slept with Nina - but that's all!
- George Costanza: "That's all"? That's everything! I don't know what all the rest of it is for, anyway.
- Cosmo Kramer: Hey... FDR wants me to drop dead.
- George Costanza: "FDR"?
- Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, Franklin Delano Romanowski. I go to his birthday party and, just before he blew out his candles, he gives me this look.
- George Costanza: Stink eye?
- Jerry Seinfeld: Crook eye?
- Cosmo Kramer: *Evil* eye.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Well, everybody's a little cranky on their birthday.
- George Costanza: Oh, it's a bad day. No, you got everyone in your house; you're thinking, "These are my friends?"
- Jerry Seinfeld: Every day is my birthday.
- [discussing why Jerry and Nina never dated]
- Jerry Seinfeld: We were too compatible. Our conversations were so engrossing.
- George Costanza: How engrossing?
- Jerry Seinfeld: If we ever had a problem with Elaine, we could bring in Nina and not lose a step.
- George Costanza: [chuckles with surprise, then shows worry] You don't, uh, have a replacement lined up for me, do you?
- [continues chuckling]
- George Costanza: [Jerry chuckles knowingly and smiles]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Anyway, like I was saying, I couldn't make the transition from conversation to sex. There were no awkward pauses - I need an awkward pause.
- George Costanza: I'm all awkward pauses. Fix me up with her.
- [at Sue Ellen's wedding, just before the ceremony is to begin]
- Elaine Benes: [whispering] Would you grow up, George? What is the difference? Nina slept with him, he slept with me, I slept with Pinter. Nobody cares; it's all ancient history.
- George Costanza: [loudly] You slept with the groom?
- Nina Stengle: George, I've used the bathroom; it's fine.
- George Costanza: No, no, no, no - I can walk it off. It's 120 degrees in here: I'll sweat it out.
- George Costanza: Jerry seem a little weird when I mentioned Nina?
- Elaine Benes: Nina? Nina? Nope. Sh... Not weird, no, Nina.
- George Costanza: Why do you keep saying "Nina"?
- Elaine Benes: I don't know.
- [laughing]
- Elaine Benes: "Nina." "Nina!"... I'm gonna go grab a bite.
- George Costanza: So, Elaine, are you gonna sleep with me, or what?
- Elaine Benes: George, I just got off a twenty-three-hour plane ride. I'm too tired to even vomit at the thought.
- George Costanza: Fine; I'll ask you again when you're rested.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Oh, I'm sure she'll come around.
- Nina Stengle: And by the way, you can take off those boots: Everyone knows you're five-six.
- George Costanza: Five-eight!... Five-seven...
- Nina Stengle: George, you've been wearing those boots since I met you. You're not gonna wear them to the wedding, are you?
- George Costanza: No.
- [snorts]
- George Costanza: I'm gonna wear black shoes.
- George Costanza: Wait a minute - Nina just saw me in my Timberlands. Now, I have to wear them every time I see her.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Why?
- George Costanza: In any other shoe, I lose two inches; I can't have a drop-down. We were eye-to-eye; I can't go eye-to-chin.
- Jerry Seinfeld: So you're gonna wear 'em no matter what the situation?
- George Costanza: In every situation, no matter how silly I look.