Jerry Seinfeld credited as playing...
Jerry Seinfeld
- George Costanza: By Christmas Day I will be Brother Costanza.
- Jerry Seinfeld: And when is Brother Costanza planning on telling Mother Costanza?
- George Costanza: Brother Costanza will be taking the vow of silence.
- George Costanza: You know, in the cab on the way over here, I actually thought about converting.
- Jerry Seinfeld: To Latvian Orthodox?
- George Costanza: Why not? What do I care?
- [first lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: You know, doctor is supposed to be such a prestigious occupation, but it's really one of the only jobs where you have to have your diploma right up there on the wall. It makes them seem so insecure, doesn't it? "I really am a doctor, you know. If you think I'm not, just check it out." I mean, I don't know why they need these little bits of psychological leverage over us all the time. "Go in that little room, take your pants off, wait 15 minutes, then I'll give you my opinion." I mean, after that, anybody that comes in with pants on seems like they know what they're talking about. In any difference of opinion, pants always beats no pants.