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Phil Morris and Michael Richards in Seinfeld (1989)

Phil Morris: Jackie Chiles

The Maestro

Seinfeld

Phil Morris credited as playing...

Jackie Chiles

Photos

Quotes1

  • Cosmo Kramer: Well you know they don't allow outside drinks in the movie theater. So I had to put it in my shirt and sneak it in.
  • Jackie Chiles: Yeah, see they like to sell their own coffee.
  • Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, now is that going to be a problem?
  • Jackie Chiles: Yeah that's going to be a problem. It's gonna be a problem for them. This a clear violation of your rights as a consumer. It's an infringement on your constitutional rights. It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.
  • Cosmo Kramer: It's definitely preposterous.
  • Jackie Chiles: So. Then what happened?
  • Cosmo Kramer: Well I was trying to get to my seat and I had to step over someone and I kind of got pushed and it spilled on me.
  • Jackie Chiles: Was there a top on it?
  • Cosmo Kramer: Yeah
  • Jackie Chiles: Now did you put the top on or did they put the top on for you?
  • Cosmo Kramer: No. They put the top on.
  • Jackie Chiles: And they made the top. You didn't make the top did you?
  • [Kramer motions that he did not make the top]
  • Jackie Chiles: [to secretary over intercom] Suzie. I want you to go down to Java World. Get me a cafe latte with a top.
  • [to Kramer]
  • Jackie Chiles: We're gonna run some test on that top. Have you been to the doctor?
  • Cosmo Kramer: No. No, I haven't.
  • Jackie Chiles: Suzie. Call Dr. Bison. Set up an appointment for Mr. Kramer here. Tell him it's from me.
  • Cosmo Kramer: So, what do you think, Mr. Chiles.
  • Jackie Chiles: Jackie
  • Cosmo Kramer: Jackie. I mean, we have a chance?
  • Jackie Chiles: Do we have a chance? You get me one coffee drinker on that jury, you gonna walk outta there a rich man.

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