Jerry Seinfeld credited as playing...
Jerry Seinfeld
- Jerry Seinfeld: [Kramer wants to get naked] Hold it just a second. Let's not lose our heads here. Kramer, you know you're always welcome in my home. But as far as "Mr. Johnson" is concerned, that's another story!
- [first lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show. Ah, the extra buttons. Yeah. What kind of a sicko really would save these, have them in a huge file? Drawers that wide. You know, you just... "Where the hell is that button...?" I mean, is it that hard to get black, round buttons... That they have to make it into a whole thing? Like this is such a great jacket. The buttons are so unique, so one-of-a-kind. You'll never find them. We'll save you the trouble of knocking your brains out. Because we know they're gonna fall off, too. That's the other point that they're trying to make here.
- [last lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: I was audited last year. I have been through an audit. At first I thought, "Well, IRS, kind of sounds like Toys 'R' Us. Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe they have a sense of fun about it, you know?" But it's... It's bad. It's an ordeal... And they don't do anything to keep your spirits up through the ordeal. I think they should take all your receipts and put them in one of those big Lucite sweepstake drums and just kind of crank it around there. You know, give you a feeling like you might win something. You know what I mean? Then they can pull them out, one by one, and go, "Oh, I'm sorry. That's another illegal deduction, but we do have some lovely parting gifts for you... Jail."