Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson • Trapped Teacher • Charlie • ...
The Last Temptation of Homer
The Simpsons
Dan Castellaneta credited as playing...
Homer Simpson • Trapped Teacher • Charlie • Zutroy • Optometrist • Barney Gumble • Grampa Simpson • Yokel Student • Man with Big Hand • Flying Monkeys • Hans Moleman • Fossil Fuel Man
- [Homer, Lenny and a worker are wandering around, reading speeches written on their hands]
- Homer: 'Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we should avoid each other from now on.'
- Lenny Leonard: 'Max, what I did, I did because of alcohol and anger.'
- Man with Big Hand: 'I'm tired of these jokes about my giant hand! The first such incident occured in 1956 when... '
- Mindy Simmons: Hi, Homer!
- Homer: [surprised] Mindy! Uh...
- [clears his throat, looks at his palm, and discovers the writing has become smudged]
- Homer: Oh no, I'm sweating like Roger Ebert!
- [attempts to read]
- Homer: 'Mur-Murphy. Use-you are an elf... uncontrollably... I, I think... a wee nam myoho renge kyo.'
- Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
- Moe Szyslak: [not very interested] Yeah.
- Homer: See, I got this friend, Joey Jo-Jo Junior... Shabadoo?
- Moe Szyslak: That's the worst name I ever heard.
- [a man runs out of Moe's crying]
- Barney Gumble: Hey, Joey Jo-Jo!
- Homer: [singing a parody of Barry Manilow's song Mandy] Oh, Margie, you came and you found me a turkey on my vacation away from workey.
- Bellhop: TV's there. Bathroom's there. And there's your king-size bed for...
- [wolf-whistles, makes a cat noise, imitates a bed squeaking, purrs, pants, barks, howls, twiddles his lips]
- Bellhop: Hubba, hubba!
- Homer: Stop that! I love my wife and family. All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort.
- [at an energy convention, Homer and Mindy are hosting the "Nuclear Power" booth]
- Nuclear Power Heckler #1: [passing by] Thanks for poisoning the planet, bastards!
- Mindy Simmons: Get bent!
- Nuclear Power Heckler #2: [passing by] No more Chernobyls!
- Homer: Go to hell!
- Homer: [singing a parody of Barry Manilow's song Mandy] Oh Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking, But I sent you Ben Gay. Oh Andy, you kissed me and stopped me from something, And I -
- [Lisa interrupts]
- Homer: [Homer gets knocked out and his spirit is pulled out of his body by another spirit] Who are you?
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Isaac Newton: Homer, I'm your guardian angel. I've assumed the form of someone you'd recognize and revere: Sir Isaac Newton.
- Homer: Sir Isa-who?
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Isaac Newton: [Transforming himself] Oh, very well.
- Homer: [gasps] Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink: I'm not actually Colonel Klink, I'm just assuming his form.
- Homer: Hee, hee, hee! Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp?
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink: Homer-r-r! That's not why I'm here.
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink: My job is to show you how miserable life would be if you married Mindy instead of Marge.
- Homer: [Flying over a mansion] Ooh! I would live in a big mansion?
- Mindy Simmons: [Homer and Mindy play tennis while Jeeves looks on] I'm so happy, darling.
- Homer: I, as well. Are you happy, Jeeves?
- Jeeves: M'yes sir, quite.
- Homer: Then we're all happy!
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink: Let's get out of here.
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink: [Flying over the White House] Sure, life is good for you. But what about Marge?
- Homer: [gasps] Marge lives here?
- White House Assistant: Madam President, your approval rating is soaring.
- Marge Simpson: Hmm...
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink: [Homer wakes up back in his body] This dream is over.
- Lionel Hutz: Hey, you! Get out of my office!
- Mindy Simmons: [whispering seductively] Homer, I've got a really wicked idea that could get us in a lot of trouble.
- Homer: Mindy, we have to fight our temptations.
- Mindy Simmons: No. Let's do it. Let's call room service!
- [Homer is worried about his attraction to Mindy]
- Barney Gumble: Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction. Talk to the woman, and you'll realize you have nothing in common.
- Homer: [gasps] Barney, that is so insightful! How did you come up with that?
- Barney Gumble: It was written on one of these bar napkins.
- [He holds up the napkin, which indeed has the entirety of what he said printed on it]
- Fossil Fuel Man: [At a solar power exhibit of the convention, hosted by Hans Moleman] So, this stuff really works?
- Hans Moleman: Certainly does.
- Fossil Fuel Man: Oh, well. LOTS OF LUCK!
- [knocks Moleman out with a karate chop. The man snaps his fingers and other men dispose of the body and convert the solar power exhibit to a fossil fuel exhibit, complete with the slogan "Fossil Fuel: Use us and nobody gets hurt"]
- Waylon Smithers: Simpson, Simmons. You two have been chosen to represent us at the national energy convention. Congratulations! You'll be spending two nights together in glamorous Capital City.
- Mindy Simmons: Wow, Capital City! The Windy Apple!
- Waylon Smithers: Come on, I'll get you the tickets.
- Homer: Oh, this is the worst crisis my marriage has ever faced! Colonel Klink, why have you forsaken me?
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink: [Klink materializes] What is it? You have a question?
- Homer: Heh heh. Did you know Kinch had a radio in the coffee pot?
- Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink: [Surprised] He did? Mmm!