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Nancy Cartwright and Dan Castellaneta in The Simpsons (1989)

Jane Kaczmarek: Judge Constance Harm

The Parent Rap

The Simpsons

Jane Kaczmarek credited as playing...

Judge Constance Harm

Quotes8

  • Judge Constance Harm: Grand theft auto?
  • Bart Simpson: It was an accident, ma'am.
  • Judge Constance Harm: Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me its frosting.
  • Homer Simpson: What did she say about cupcakes?
  • Judge Constance Harm: Agh! That quilt was made by my Grandmother.
  • Homer Simpson: So... it cost you nothin'.
  • Judge Constance Harm: [a woman, to Bart] You remind me of myself... when I was a little boy.
  • Judge Constance Harm: According to this, your father was driving you to school. Then where was he when you stole the police car?
  • Homer Simpson: Uh, your Honor, I was chasing the KBBL Party Penguin Prize Patrol.
  • Judge Constance Harm: You abandoned your son to win forty dollars?
  • Homer Simpson: And a Blue Oyster Cult medallion.
  • [Holds it up and admires it]
  • Homer Simpson: Cool.
  • Judge Constance Harm: And that was more important than keeping your son out of trouble?
  • Homer Simpson: Your Honor, if may sing a little bit of, "Don't Fear the Reaper," I think you'll agree...
  • Judge Constance Harm: I'm familiar with BOC. But you have got a boy here who is crying out for adult supervision.
  • Homer Simpson: I couldn't agree more. Perhaps some sort of court-appointed babysitter or au pair.
  • Judge Constance Harm: Sorry, bub, that crow won't caw.
  • Homer Simpson: It won't!
  • Judge Constance Harm: I hereby order you to be tethered to your son.
  • Homer Simpson: Tethered!
  • Judge Constance Harm: Tethered. Report to room five.
  • Homer Simpson: Room five!
  • Judge Constance Harm: I'm gonna lock you up till frogs do fractions!
  • Judge Constance Harm: Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind me of me, when I was a little boy.
  • Judge Constance Harm: But I was about to bang my gavel, making the sentence official!

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