Tress MacNeille credited as playing...
Brown-Haired Cadet • Orderly
- Orderly: [answering a phone call] Simpson.
- Grampa Simpson: Hot diggity! I don't care if it's bad news.
- Lisa: Oh, Grampa, you're not busy, are you?
- Grampa Simpson: Well, you're really asking two questions there. The first one takes me back to 1934. Admiral Byrd had just reached the pole, only hours ahead of the Three Stooges.
- [later]
- Grampa Simpson: And I guess he won the argument, but I walked away with the turnips. The following morning, I resigned my commission in the Coast Guard. The next thing I heard, there was civil war in Spain.
- [even later]
- Grampa Simpson: And that's everything that happened in my life right up to the time I got this phone call.
- Lisa: Uh-huh. So, anything else you wanna talk about?
- Grampa Simpson: Oh, I'm afraid I'd just be repeating myself, honey. Anyway, other people need to use the phone.
- Jasper: [the other retirees express their disinterest] Mm-mm. I've already talked to her for twenty damn minutes.
- Bart Simpson: Cleaning graffiti off a statue makes a mockery of everything I stand for. I don't think I can survive here, Lise.
- Lisa: That's how they want you to feel. But if you just hang in there, they'll eventually accept you.
- Brown-Haired Cadet: Get to work! I wanna see my face in that horse's ass!
- The Commandant: This is now the girls' barracks. So pack your things. You're moving in with Company L.
- Brown-Haired Cadet: Company L? But they smell!
- The Commandant: Yes, we've all heard the chant. Now, fall out!
- Cadet: I can't believe they let a girl in.
- Brown-Haired Cadet: Don't worry. We'll drive her out of the academy. That is why God created hazing.