Dan Castellaneta credited as playing...
Homer Simpson • Groundskeeper Willie • Tractor • Chicken • Cola Scientist #2 • Grampa • Barney Gumble • Squeaky-Voiced Teen • Kwik-E-Mart Customer • Choir Soloist • Mayor Quimby • Fleeing Snake • Irish Man • Martin Prince
- [Barry White is the Guest of Honor on Whacking Day]
- Mayor Quimby: Now I'd like to introduce our Grand Marshal, the Prophet of Love, Larry White.
- Barry White: Barry White.
- Mayor Quimby: No, it says here Larry White.
- Barry White: I know my own name.
- Mayor Quimby: Yeah? Well, we'll just see!
- Bart: Whacking Day is a sham. It was originally conceived in 1922 as an excuse to beat up on the Irish.
- Old Irishman: 'Tis true. I took many a lump, but 'twas all in good fun.
- Principal Skinner: [Last lines; hurrying to deliver mountain bikes to the school bullies still locked in the school basement] Faster, Willie, faster. Now, we give 'em the bikes, no one sues.
- Groundskeeper Willie: What if they're dead, sir?
- Principal Skinner: Then we ride these bikes to Mexico and freedom, Willie! Freedom!
- Groundskeeper Willie: Freedom.
- Groundskeeper Willie: [quietly muttering] I'll turn you in at the first tollbooth.