Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson • Todd Flanders • Nelson Muntz • ...

Wild Barts Can't Be Broken

Bart Simpson • Todd Flanders • Nelson Muntz • Ralph Wiggum • Lewis

Lisa Simpson: It's not fair. Adults always blame kids for everything.
Homer Simpson: Well, if kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting childish, kidnapping, child abuse.
Bart: What about adultery?
Homer Simpson: Not until you're older, Son.

Bart: [In a creepy English accent] Join us tomorrow and everyday until the curfew is lifted as we'll be revealing embarrassing secrets about Springfield's other adults.
Homer: Well, at least they've already done me.
Bart: [In the same accent] And we have plenty more on Homer Simpson.
Homer: D'oh!

Man #1: [while Bart and Lisa are watching TV] You robbed me of my manhood!
Woman: That's petty theft.
[the studio audience makes a "woo" sound and another man pops up from behind the couch]
Man #2 in 'Don't Go There!': Don't go there!
[the studio audience laughs]
TV Announcer: Don't Go There will be right back.
Bart: [while aiming a bowling ball towards the TV] Oh, no, it won't.

Nelson Muntz: Adults blow.
Bart: Yeah, just look at them over there.
[scene shows Principal Skinner, Mrs. Krabappel and Ms. Hoover standing in the playground]
Milhouse Van Houten: Smoking their cigarettes.
Lisa Simpson: Drinking their coffee.
Bart: Scratching their big butts.
Principal Skinner: [to Bart] Your metabolism will change someday too, young man.
[awkwardly walks backward]

Milhouse Van Houten: Man, if we had eye power like those kids in that movie, we could read the adults' minds and tell their secrets and make them pitchfork each other and junk!
[laughs]
Lisa Simpson: Wait! We don't need supernatural powers. We already know their secrets.
Bart: She's right! Homer's done a ton of crap that never made the papers.
Martin Prince: My mom shoplifts all the time. Stuff she doesn't even need.
Nelson Muntz: My dad gets in car accidents on purpose.
Lisa Simpson: [as she writes down everyone's ideas on a notepad] Great! This is all gold.
Milhouse Van Houten: We gotta spread this stuff around. Let's put it on the Internet!
Lisa Simpson: No! We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter! And I think I know how.