Tony Sirico credited as playing...
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri
- Tony Soprano: [over the phone] It's a bad connection, so I'm gonna talk fast! The guy you're looking for is an ex-commando! He killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed!
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Get the fuck outta here.
- Tony Soprano: Yeah. Nice, huh? He was with the Interior Ministry. Guy's some kind of Russian green beret. This guy can not come back to tell this story. You understand?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I hear you.
- [the telephone connection is lost - Tony swears, and Paulie hangs up]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [turning to Christopher] You're not gonna believe this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. The guy was an interior decorator.
- Christopher Moltisanti: His house looked like shit.
- Christopher Moltisanti: The Russians? They're not all bad.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: How about the Cuban Missile Crisis? Cocksuckers moved nuclear warheads into Cuba, pointed 'em right at us.
- Christopher Moltisanti: That was real? I saw that movie, I thought it was bullshit.
- [Christopher is urinating outside on Paulie's side of the van]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Ohhhh! Do that by your own window! I don't want to smell your piss!
- Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck you.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What did you say?
- Christopher Moltisanti: You heard me.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Don't make me pull rank on you, kid!
- Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck you, Paulie. Captain or no captain, right now, we're just two assholes lost in the woods.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: All the shit we been through, you think I'd really kill ya?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah, I do.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [eating frozen condiment packets in the van with Christopher] Not bad! Mix it with the relish!
- Christopher Moltisanti: [sitting in an abandoned van in the woods, during the winter, sees Paulie chewing on small white objects in his mouth] what are those? Tic Tacs?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I just found them, I didn't know I had them on me.
- Christopher Moltisanti: You had Tic Tacs all along? Give me some.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: There ain't no more, I ate them.
- Christopher Moltisanti: [referring to the fact he didn't eat breakfast] selfish prick, I'm dying here.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [dismissively] Then fuckin die already.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: First place I'm hittin' is Denny's!
- Christopher Moltisanti: I know. Get like five of those Grand Slam breakfasts.
- Christopher Moltisanti: We should have stopped at Roy Rogers.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Yeah, and I should have fucked Dale Evans, but I didn't!
- [Paulie is getting a manicure]
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [to manicurist] Let's go with the satin finish.
- Christopher Moltisanti: [while lost in the woods] Could be him out there stalking us.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: With what? His cock?
- Tony Soprano: [over the phone] you know that "Russkie" Valery, works for Slava? Well, he owes Sil five grand, for the other "thing" you know? I need you to go pick it up tomorrow
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: why don't Sil go?
- Tony Soprano: Sil's dying: his going home because of the flu
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [from the bad connection from his cell phone] I didn't hear you
- Tony Soprano: [raises his voice] his sick, he has the flu
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm supposed to take my mother to Social Security tomorrow
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [after Tony gives him Valery's address] I don't even know why we deal with these people?
- Tony Soprano: wanna guess?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: they make us money
- Tony Soprano: [before hanging up] thank you
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [while at a gas station, referring to Valery that's tied up with his mouth gagged in the trunk] We can dump him down the shore
- Christopher Moltisanti: It's too much light out, we should wait. They got a Roy Rogers over there, you hungry?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to disposing the body] First thing's first
- Christopher Moltisanti: I know, I'm just saying, I didn't eat breakfast
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Most important meal. Let's take him down to Pine Barrens
- Christopher Moltisanti: That's south Jersey
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: It's perfect: it's fuckin deserted down there. We take him in the woods, dig a hole, end of story
- Christopher Moltisanti: With Fuckin Snow All Over the Ground, That's Some Hard Shit
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I got a shovel I use for digging the car out, the best part is, we'd be like twenty minutes away from AC. We'll get a room, freshen up, play a little Black Jack
- Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck that, I gotta eat something
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: we'll go to Morton's get a steak: this way the day won't be a total loss
- Tony Soprano: [over the phone] Yeah?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: It's me
- Tony Soprano: What now?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What now? Chrissy's head is bleeding and I'm freezing to death, that's what fuckin now
- Tony Soprano: Hey, take it easy
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm through taking it easy: we're fuckin starving out here
- Tony Soprano: What'd you want me to do about it?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Come fuckin get us
- Tony Soprano: You don't even know where the fuck you are
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Exit twelve
- Tony Soprano: What?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Exit fuckin twelve
- Christopher Moltisanti: [giving them the name of the exit from the highway] Pikes Hollow or some shit
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Pikes Hollow: there's a dirt road at the turnoff. We're parked about a mile in near some picnic tables
- Tony Soprano: I find the car, then what?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I don't know, start yelling. We're in a truck, that dirt road might be the same one we're on
- Tony Soprano: Put my nephew on the phone
- Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah, T?
- Tony Soprano: Are you alright?
- Christopher Moltisanti: I don't know, my head's killing me
- Tony Soprano: [while having poor cell phone reception] what? I can't hear you
- Christopher Moltisanti: My head hurts, I think I got a concussion
- Tony Soprano: alright, just stay calm
- Christopher Moltisanti: Bring some food alright?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [yells to the phone] Some fuckin shoes too
- Tony Soprano: [before hanging up] Alright, hang in there
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to his foot missing a shoe, referring to frostbite] This is no fuckin joke here, I could lose a foot
- Christopher Moltisanti: Numb huh?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: The fuck you think? How could we be lost like this? We're in fuckin New Jersey
- Christopher Moltisanti: [while walking past a bush] South Jersey, maybe we should eat some of these berries?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Are you nuts? Shit like that could be poison? You don't know, come on
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [after noticing an abandoned van in the middle of the woods] The fuck is that?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [over the phone, referring to Valery] We saw that guy but we had a problem: it got a little physical
- Tony Soprano: Your just supposed to pick up the money
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: We did but he started giving us some shit, the prick sucker punched me
- Tony Soprano: Where are you now?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: A rest stop in the Garden State
- Tony Soprano: where's the guy?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to the trunk of the car] With the luggage
- Tony Soprano: Are you fuckin kidding me?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Your breakin up, I can't hear you
- Tony Soprano: [raising his voice] I said are you fuckin kidding me?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: It got bad: we had no choice
- Tony Soprano: I'm supposed to meet Slava later. What the fuck am I supposed to say to him?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: It's ok, nobody was around, what'd you wanna do?
- Tony Soprano: You use your own judgement: whatever you decide, you do it way the fuck away from me, you understand?
- Tony Soprano: [angrily over the phone] where the fuck you been?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to him and Christopher] we went down to Pine Barrens
- Tony Soprano: [referring to disposing Valery's body] did you "wrap the package"?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: not yet: we were about to but we had a little "problem"
- Tony Soprano: [confused] what "problem?"
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to a shovel] the "package" hit Chrissy with an "implement" and ran off
- Tony Soprano: [referring to Paulie originally telling him Valery was dead] ran off? I thought you said it was... you know?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I thought it was, we're looking for him now
- Tony Soprano: wait, I can't hear you: you're breaking up
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [raises his voice] I said we're looking for him now
- Tony Soprano: is there any way the "package" could survive?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: no T, no fuckin way
- Tony Soprano: [angered by constant cell phone interruption, before hanging up] cocksucker, I got a meeting with Slava. I could be walking into a fuckin "bus hole!"
- Christopher Moltisanti: [after Paulie hung up the phone with Tony, while their lost in the woods] what'd he say?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I don't know: his all fuckin worried about this Slava asshole. I know we don't work with this guy but you gotta wonder what Tony's got going on
- Christopher Moltisanti: none of our fuckin business, is it?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm a fuckin captain
- Christopher Moltisanti: [after putting a cigarette in his mouth] you got a match? My lighter's in the car
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: mine too
- Christopher Moltisanti: [referring to Valery] I'm not dressed for this shit: his gotta be dead by now, right?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: how could he not be? Fuck it, let's just go, squirrels' will eat him anyway
- Christopher Moltisanti: where we parked?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [gestures to the direction their walking from] back there: half a mile or so
- Christopher Moltisanti: [confused] you sure? I thought we kind of "looped" around?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [adamantly] four years in the army kid, we just follow our own footprints, come on
- Christopher Moltisanti: [taking shelter from the cold weather inside an abandoned van, while lost in the woods] thank you God, my fuckin ears feel like they're are gonna fall off
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [after losing his shoe in the snow] fuck your ears: get me something for my foot
- Christopher Moltisanti: [referring to Valery, worried] what if this guy's not dead?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [adamantly] his fuckin dead
- Christopher Moltisanti: [referring to the number of people Valery has killed] I know but sixteen Czechoslovakians: his trained for this shit, it's like die hard shit
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [after they take shelter in an abandoned van, during winter, referring to Valery's head wound] even if his alive, his unarmed and bleeding like a sieve, his in the woods, in his pajamas: it's the fuckin Yukon out there
- Christopher Moltisanti: he probably thinks we left anyway
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [adamantly] "if" his alive, which he ain't
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [when Christopher takes a bag out from underneath his seat] what's that?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Nathan's bag
- Christopher Moltisanti: [after looking inside the bag] fuck, there's some ketchups and shit
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: they clean?
- Christopher Moltisanti: I don't know: they were in the bag, they're a little halfway frozen
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: fuck it, give me some
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [over the phone] It's me
- Tony Soprano: Where are you?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to him and Christopher lost in the woods] We're still here
- Tony Soprano: And?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Not good
- Tony Soprano: [sarcastically] That's really fuckin great
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Listen, we're really lost: we've been walking around for hours, I lost my shoe. We found some old truck
- Tony Soprano: [angrily] Old truck? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: How about some advice?
- Tony Soprano: [confused] What?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: How about some advice?
- Tony Soprano: [referring to Valery] You want my advice? You stay there until the morning and you find this guy!