Trey Parker credited as playing...
Stan Marsh • Eric Cartman • Clyde • Bill • Fosse • Mr. Garrison • Bookie • Man in Crowd #1 • Man in Crowd #2 • Man in Crowd #3 • Ned Gerblanski • Robert • TV Announcer #2 • Carl • Big Gay Al • Frank Hammond • Richard Stamos • Pet-Owner #3
- Stan Marsh: What's a homosexual?
- Mr. Herbert Garrison: Well, Stanley, I guess you came to the right person. Sit down. Stanley, gay people, well, gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?
- [Stan's report on "Asian Culture."]
- Stan: Asian culture has plagued our fragile earth for many years. We must end it.
- Cartman: Stan, you need to lay off the cough syrup, all right, seriously. I'm worried about you man.
- Richard Stamos: [singing] Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful. Do, do, do, dooo...
- [Off key]
- Richard Stamos: Ah!
- [Off key]
- Richard Stamos: Ah!
- Jimbo: What the hell? He didn't sing the high F.
- Mr. Herbert Garrison: Richard Stamos can't sing a high F. He always screws it up like this.
- Jimbo: Ned, we are gonna get our asses kicked!
- Mr. Herbert Garrison: [Jeering] It's obvious where all the talent in that family went!