Trey Parker credited as playing...
Stan Marsh • Eric Cartman • Randy Marsh • Timmy • Jimmy Valmer • Skeeter • Scout Leader #1 • Scout Leader #2 • Mr. Grazier • Susan's Husband • Man in Crowd #2 • Chris the News Reporter • Interviewee #2 • Steven Spielberg • Tom the News Reader • Man in Crowd #3 • Judge
- Cartman: Yeah, we learned how to make cakes and muffins for our bake sale!
- Stan: And best of all we met this kid named Jimmy. He's disabled but he doesn't let it ruin his life - he's awsome!
- Timmy: Aaaggghhh!
- Cartman: Yeah, we're gonna use him to help raise money at our bake sales.
- Stan: Cartman, don't say use him you big silly goose.
- Randy Marsh: Son! You call your friend an asshole like a normal boy!
- Randy Marsh: What did you say?
- [slamming the brakes]
- Stan: I just... called Cartman a name; he's a silly goose.
- Stuart McCormick: Ah huh.
- Randy Marsh: You do not say 'big silly goose'! You call him an asshole like a normal kid!
- Stan: But, dad, I was just trying to...
- Randy Marsh: You call your friend an asshole this instant!
- Stan: Asshole.
- [to Eric]
- Randy Marsh: That's better.
- Mr. Grazier: Alright, Scouts, I am your new Scout Master, Mr. Grazier!
- [paces back and forth between tables]
- Mr. Grazier: Together we are going to become the best! The sleekest! The most well polished Scout troop in all of Colorado! Isn't that right!
- [there's no answer]
- Mr. Grazier: When I ask you a question you will answer "Yes, Scoutmaster!" Do I make myself clear!
- All: Yes, Scoutmaster!
- Mr. Grazier: Good! Now, the first activity for this evening will be...
- [hushed]
- Mr. Grazier: naked pictures
- [brings forth a camera]
- Mr. Grazier: I'm gonna take some pictures of each of you naked, in case we need them, for later.
- All: Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!
- Mr. Grazier: Oh, what is this? If there's one thing I hate, it's a whining platoon! "We don't wanna do pushups! We don't wanna get up early! We don't wanna have you take naked pictures of us!"
- Mr.Grazier: Alright, Scouts, we're gonna end this meeting with a little puppet show.
- [pulls out a smiling Scout hand puppet]
- Mr.Grazier: Here's a little Scout. He's always prepared. He's always ready. Now, here's a little Scout telling his parents that Mr. Grazier took naked pictures of him. Look what happens.
- [pulls out a hammer with his left hand and whacks away at the puppet on his right hand. You can hear the bone in his hand break. The Scouts are frightened]
- Mr.Grazier: Oh! No! Aw! Aw! Aw!
- [his right hand is badly bleeding, leaving a large pool of blood]
- Mr.Grazier: Do I make myself clear, Scouts!