Tom Kenny: SpongeBob SquarePants • Gary • Jellyfish • ...

Born Again Krabs/I Had an Accident

SpongeBob SquarePants • Gary • Jellyfish • Narrator • Old Fish • Pinch-o-Matic

SpongeBob SquarePants: [snowboarding] Hey, Sandy! Watch me do the Grouchy Squidward.
Squidward: Stop naming moves after me.
SpongeBob SquarePants: [imitating Squidward] Everybody's an idiot except me.
Squidward: Well, it's true.

[last lines]
SpongeBob: [now ripped in half by the gorilla] Patrick? Sandy?
Patrick, Sandy Cheeks: [in unison, tied in a sack] Yes, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: I'm sorry I caused all this. I'm not scared of going outside anymore, but I'm terrifed of gorillas now.
Sandy Cheeks: Oh, that's alright, SpongeBob. Us too.
SpongeBob: You know what I don't understand though?
SpongeBob: [other half] What?
SpongeBob: What's a gorilla doing underwater in the first place?
[the gorilla's eyes widen up in shock]
Gorilla: [nervously] Well, that's funny, you should - I mean, you see that - George, they're onto us!
George: Let's get out of here!
[the gorilla and the horse run away into the sunset as Sandy, Patrick, and SpongeBob watch them, a family is watching this as the mom and dad look at each other, the dad shuts off the TV as the screen goes to black]

The Flying Dutchman: OK Krabs, I'll let you stay. But first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between Spongebob and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you take?
Mr. Krabs: That depends. How much money we talking about?
SpongeBob: Mr Krabs?
The Flying Dutchman: 62 cents.
Mr. Krabs: I'll take the money.
SpongeBob: Mr Krabs!

Doctor: Well, it looks like your gluteus maximus has made a full recovery.
SpongeBob: My what has a what now?
Doctor: Your butt's all better. It's really quite amazing. It took 20 hours to put it all back together. We actually ran out of staples, so we had to use a glue stick. Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky luck boy. But next time I want you to be more careful. One more injury like that, and you could end up like that poor creature there, in the iron butt.
Tom: Oh, man. It itches.

[Mr. Krabs cries as he mistakenly traded SpongeBob to the Flying Dutchman]
The Flying Dutchman: [angry] Here, take him back!
Mr. Krabs: You heard what I said about the money?
The Flying Dutchman: Heard what you said? I couldn't hear myself thinking with this one around. I only had him for 30 seconds! And it's jellyfishing this and Mermaid Man that!
[while he's speaking, we get a flashback to moments before. The Flying Dutchman is hovering outside Davy Jones' locker, with SpongeBob standing on his open palm and chattering away]
SpongeBob: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy merchandise were the closest thing to everything. I love jellyfishing, you should love jellyfishing. You should come some time and bring your own net!
The Flying Dutchman: Why, not giving him back is a fate worse than death! He's your problem now!
[He disappears laughing furiously]

SpongeBob SquarePants: That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was the one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor, and so I simply decided that I'm never leaving my house again.
Sandy Cheeks: That's crazy talk!
Patrick: That's not crazy talk! This is crazy talk!
[He starts babbling incoherently. Sandy pounds his head into his body to make him shut up]
Patrick: Sorry.

[SpongeBob is falling to the ground]
Sandy Cheeks: SpongeBob! Land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of the fall!
SpongeBob: [makes himself right-side up and takes off his pants] Like this?
Patrick: No, your other bottom!
Sandy Cheeks: [annoyed] Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until 4.
[SpongeBob crashes to the ground, where his rear has been shattered into hundreds of pieces]
Sandy Cheeks: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
Patrick: Do it again! I wasn't looking!

Sandy Cheeks: SpongeBob! Sooner or later, you're gonna HAVE to come outside!
SpongeBob: I told you, guys! I'm never leaving my house again.
Patrick: Never ever?
SpongeBob: Never, ever, ever.
Patrick: Never, never, never, never, for never ever?
SpongeBob: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, never!
Patrick: Never everevereverevereverever, ever?
SpongeBob, Patrick: [SpongeBob sighs and he and Patrick overlap eachother's talking with never-ever's]
SpongeBob: Okay, patrick! That is enough!